Thursday, December 30, 2004

i'm back in canada and have 15 minutes to use the computer. so this will be full of typos and might not make much sense.

but i want to say happy new year!! sorry i don't have time to write you personal emails, but i'm thinking about yous and yeah hpapy new year!

this emial is mostly from my grandpa. And for Roloph Heinen. Grandpa, please tell him this story. And it's for you too mom.

so, I was checking in my baggage at the Heathrow Airport in London, England. And the lady next to me checking in was apparantly from Medicine hat. And the guy working at her counter asked her if she know Roloph Heinen, cause he's from Medicine Hat. And the lady was like "no! I have no clue who that is" and I stuck my head over to his counter and said "I know Roloph Heinen!! He's my grandpa's best friend!!" And this guy, Migual, spanish.. was very exciting that I knew him. And he told me to tell Roloph Heinen that he considers Mr. Heinen to be the most amazing man he has ever met.

Migual, this spanish dude who immigrated to London and now works for the Air CAnada Office in Heathrow Airport was traveling around CAnada in 1994 and was hitchhiking near Lethbridge, when a kind man stopped and picked him up. This man was.. you guessed it.. Roloph HEinen. so Roloph offers to not only give him a ride, but also bring him into his home and feed him and talk with him and make him feel very very welcomed. This Migual guy now considers Roloph to have the biggest heard out of any other man he has ever met. (I told him jokingly that he obviously hasn't met my grandfather)

I felt like I was in the twilight zone or something. Heathrow Airport has about 300000 people working in it, and AirCanada has about 20 checkin desks.. but there I was.. talking about Roloph heinen and how my grandpa and him go waaay back..

anyways, it's a small world.

I'm back in Canada and I love it. People are so friendly, I can communicate. We're picking up the Russians at the airport at 11pm and then heading to our camp. First some Tim Hortons. Don't it always seem to go... that you don't know what you got till it's gone..





Sunday, December 26, 2004

Christmas?!

I just wanted to wish everybody (like my friends and family and everybody reading this blog who has some type of association with me and who celebrates something this time of the year) a belated Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and happy Hannukah (I sure wish I could spell Hannukah)
Our farewell went well. Our Canadian Christmas also well, except for a few minor glitches related to us not being able to read ingredient labels of russian packaging. We're leaving Tuesday and today is Sunday and I was up all night dancing with some people from the group and our Russian supervisor and 2 swedish boys who are kind of friends of friends. One is living in Kaliningrad working for the Swedish consulate and one is his little brother who is 17 and who went to a club for the first time in his life. He's adorable and I've decided that Swedish accents are my favourite and he kind of reminds me of Jesse (my little brother) It was great music and great fun and worth the whole not sleeping thing.

Christmas is about dancing, right? Okay, so what I've figured out is that tomorrow we have "debriefing" all day and the day after that we leave in the am. And it's 11:30pm, so I think now would be a good time to start packing? Perhpaps.

So yeah, Merry christmas..happy boxing day. Drive Safe. Signing off.. with Love.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Culturama

I feel a bit (as David Bowie would say) Under Pressure. I haven't posted in awhile cause I've been.. I'm not sure what I've been doing, waiting for the right time I suppose. Because I don't want to write just for the sake of writing, but rather because I have something to say. So now the pressure is on to say something entertaining and/or informative. Uh oh. And now I have David Bowie stuck in my head.

I have a cold. I have had one for awhile. And a few days ago it was much worse. My nose was running all over the place. (errands and stuff) Russians say that their brain is leaking when their nose is running, so I guess I could say my brain sprung a leak.
My host mom caught wind of my brain leakage and called me downstairs. (I thought I was in trouble, and I was right. But not the trouble I expected) I got into the kitchen, where she grabbed me and put a chunk of onions into each one of my nostrils. Now, for the full effect of this story, I think it might be necessary for everybody to get up right now and go put onions up their nose. And leave them there for a few minutes. My eyes started watering, and I started crying from the burning pain. So there I was my brain leaking all over the place.. from my eyes and from my nose.. and my Russian mom and sister are telling me to sneeze, cause after you sneeze that means you can take the onion out. Now, everybody sneeze. Can you sneeze on command? Have you ever heard of anybody sneezing on command? Maybe at the circus you might find people who can sneeze on command. Next to the bearded lady, I'm not sure.

Eventually the onions got out of my nose and I could taste onions for the rest of the week dripping from my sinuses. I'll admit, I did feel a bit better though. Russian Healthcare System.

Sunday, our mom asked me to cook a Canadian meal. I thought this would be pretty straight-forward. I chose Spaghetti. Simple, tasty, and the ingredients are relatively inexpensive. So Val, Galia and I set out for the grocery store. I find ground beef. Galia suggests ground chicken, (which I didn't even know existed) I get mushrooms and broccoli, Galia suggests cucumbers and celery. I get long noodles, Galia suggests crazy curly ones. I grab some parmasan cheese, Galia replaces it with Gouda. Finally, I get some tomato paste to make tomato sauce with, Galia suggests some ketchup with garlic in it. The ketchup was where I drew the line.
I wasn't home for supper that night, so I didn't have to taste the final product, which I knew would taste a bit off (or waaay off). Ekaterinberg/Canada spaghetti. (Galia kept calling it lasagna. Whatever.. what's in a name, anyways?)

I thought about leaving out the meat from the sauce all together, and maybe replacing it with beans, but I knew that I would be labelled a tree-hugging environmentalist lesbian vegan free-loving bead wearing left-wing radical and would get awkward stares for the rest of my days.

The mom watched us cook it up and told us what spices to put in (Is sugar a spice?) and how to do things properly. I guess when they say "cook us a Canadian meal", the really mean "we want to see how you would cook a Canadian meal if you were given the opportunity and then stare and scrutinize and take over and do it for you cause you obviously have no idea what the hell you're doing" It's probably better that way anyways. I probably would have blown up with house with the gas stove. With great power comes great responsability, right? So no power = no responsability. And no stress.

Overall, the spaghetti/lasagna event was fun. I was reminded of Mike, my old roomate who loved spaghetti and ate it pretty much everyday throughout the entire school year. I was also reminded of pre-made tomato sauces that are available in Canada with all possible spices and combinations, even organic if that's what your heart desires. And no, you don't have to be a hippy enjoy organic tomato sauce.

Information Technology

Wow is all I have to say about this It's our team webpage. My contributions include the peary puns and the purple background. Just like my bedroom.

peace and love

Monday, December 13, 2004

I am preparing myself for the likely possibility of reverse culture shock, which will take place in about 16 days. Perhaps a bit pre-mature, but it seems like the right thing to do.

Granted, there are some things I will miss here, like being able to carry open beer with me on trams, (I never actually did this, but knowing I could was somehow comforting), the little cheesecakes you can buy at the grocery store that cost about 30 cents and Russians eat for breakfast, buying pirated music everywhere, my 4 generational house and family, my little brother Nikita who is starting to talk and it’s just so cute, and the cheapness of most things and the lack of gst, and the crazy ladies that work on the trams to see if your tram pass is valid and argue with me that my student card is not valid. They are right, because my student card is actually in Canada and all I have with me as a “international Youth Travel Card” but they don’t speak english, so they have no clue what “international Youth Travel Card” means. And, I am still a student, kind of. A Student in the University of Life is what I like to explain to them. And they say that international student cards don’t work, because these aren’t international trams. So I asked what an international tram was?? Does anybody know? An international tram? Maybe the chunnel?
One tram lady told me that my student card was actually a phone card. I’m said something along the lines of “it has my picture on it” (she looked like the sea witch in the little mermaid btw) She was insisting it was a phone card.. I decided that the best way to deal with the tram pass/student card fiasco is just to argue with the tram nazis until you get to your destination at which point you get off the tram and hope you will not have another meeting with the same tram lady. A phone card?

At the same time as I will be missing what I left behind to most likely never return to, I am excited about some things to be seen in my country. A very cool fellow Canadian who is living in France right now by who is named Jessica said this:
“I think Cookies By George steamed milks and blue bench philosophical discussions and one pound baskets of fries in the Powerplant and slushes with movies and coffee in coffee shops where you get more than an ouce of liquid for your money and large green open slaces in the middle of town and practical footwear and having the ability of having your written work published quite easily comparatively you know all adds up to create a great culture! I miss it.” It made me laugh and cry cause I knew exactly what she was saying (except for the blue bench philosophical discussion part but I can imagine what these are)

There’s nowhere in the city where you can find a portable cup of coffee. No coffee, no travel mugs, and you have to pay extra for cream in your coffee if you go somewhere and sit to drink coffee. Also, being able to do simple tasks like go to the library or buy stamps or read the time the train leaves will actually be simple tasks once again, and not big long complicating fiascos. Less adventure, more efficiency. It's hard to say which is better.

I went to a lecture by a German professor living in Ireland teaching here.. doing lecture in English.. It was very interesting. He was talking about the EU and not until that talk did I realize how interesting the European Union really is..
I'm hoping to maybe sneak out of work to attend more of his talks this week.
Don't tell my boss.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004


Here are my two counterparts. Galia on the left (living counterpart) and Nastia on the right (work counterpart at BIDA) In the middle is me being (in sarcasm font) my usual photogenic self.

I was chased out of the produce section by some crazy Russian grocery store security people, but I got it, Scuby Steve. It's fun being a rebel in the grocery store.

Monday, December 06, 2004

HECK YEAH!

This made me laugh mostly because I learned that Napoleon Dynamite isn't really crazy afterall.

It doesn't say anything about having magical powers though..

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

hibernating?

Well, work has been cancelled for the entire week. This is kind of exciting for me. Not that I don't like working.. okay it is that I don't like working.

Freedom is exhilirating!! I don't even know what to do with myself. I've been drinking tea and reading, and working out in our lovely little sport room. I went with Nastia, my work counterpart to Svitlagorsk, which is a town on the Baltic Sea and we walked around the beach and took a train back! (I love trains!!)

Today, after standing outside my office and realizing that work was cancelled, we went to visit Galia at her work and we drank some tea and gossiped and chatted and she returned to work and I walked home.

On the way, I saw a poster for Jim Barron, a dj who goes by the name "Crazy Penis" (to attract attention I'm assuming. Like the naked chef maybe.) Well, he's super awesome house dj (there might be 2 of them in Crazy Penis, but only this Jim guy is brave enough for Russian dance floors apparantly) from the UK who is coming to Kaliningrad this Friday!

Kaliningrad!! This is great news for me. I've been dying for some house music dancey dance goodness. No more Rap, hip hop R and B soul whatever you wanna call it. No more top 40 or bottom 40 or anything in between. I want authentic dance music. And hopefully the tickets won't cost me and arm and a leg and my liver either.

But yeah, I wanted to say something about this Jim Barron/Crazy Penis entity. I discovered them when our Shambhala camping neighbors were playing them non-stop for the entire Shambhala weekend. Well, they alternated between Armand van Helden (MY MY MY) and Crazy Penis (COME ON!) for about 40 hrs. straight, and I was evangelized by the end.
I tried to track down some of their music, but I was only met with teenage HMV staff blushing when I made my request for the latest "Crazy Penis" mix.


It's kind of cool how I discovered this wonderful music blasting from our neighbors mini-van at a music festival in the middle of BC in the dusty Salmo River Ranch during the massive dance under the stars,swim in the river raver-hippy shakedown this summer.
And then I re-discover it, but this time blaring from the speakers of a very capitalist club in the former Soviet Union in the dead of of the crip Baltic Sea winter. Co-incidence? Am I reading into this too much due to my over-dose of herbal tea and soup?? That's for you, the reader, to decide.

And luckilly, my grandpa, who I adore, has been printing all my posts and creating a book. Maybe I'll try to write something intelligent in the future for his sake, for the sake of humanity..

Until then, I'm gonna go eat some soup. And maybe some more tea.

Friday, November 26, 2004

agriculture?

does agriculture have anything to do with culture?
I thought I'd write about some cultural differences that I've noticed
Hope you enjoy it, Tessa!

-taking a taxi: you just stick your hand out into the street.. maybe a taxi will stop and maybe just a random car will stop if the driver is looking for some extra cash. I was also warned that taxi drivers carry baseball bats and they don't play baseball. There's no seatbealts in cabs. I always look for one, but they laugh.. "you don't have to wear a seatbelt" ha ha. silly me. what was I thinking? It's not illegal to not wear a seatbelt, so why would you wear one?
One morning I was running super late and I wanted to take a cab and there were 3 drivers standing there and 2 had a beer in their hand. (it was 9am) So I picked the one that didn't have a beer. But then I thought after that maybe he's just the fast drinker of the group.

Russians are very superstitious it seems. maybe we are too, but I feel kind of overwhelmed with the rules here. maybe just cause there's so many, or maybe cause they're new to me.
-you can't sit on the ground or by monuments or on steps. bad for your health
-empty bottles must be places on the floor, and NOT the table. otherwise it means you'll have no money.
-if you're passing jewellery between people, you must set it somewhere and then the other person picks it up. No direct jewerelly exchange. not sure why.
-black cat = bad! (we have this one too I think)
- if you forget something and you come back to get it, you must look in the mirror and smile. or it'll be bad news.

also, it's impossible to buy cd's in Kaliningrad that aren't pirated. Pirated cd's cost about $6 CAD and are available in all cd stores. It looks like HMV, except for everything is pirated. When I discovered this, I was very excited. I bought some Thievery Corporation, (Anna, it's so great!)

I already talked about the lateness thing. Odds are, if you're meeting a Russian, you can't be impatient, cause you'll go nuts. And don't expect an apology after waiting for an hour, either.

Drinking on the street is okay. bringing a beer with you into the cab is okay. Or a cooler or a bottle of vodka. No problem. brings the concept of pre-drinking to a whole new level.

No Recycling. I asked somebody from Ekaterinburg if there's any recycling and he said, "of course! we burn our garbage in the forest" Maybe I'm a bit extreme, but here I feel like some type of environmental freakshow.
Recycling vs. burning garbage? Not using the energy produced from the fire for anything else? Why didn't we think of that? We could just burn everything, people! paper, glass, mercury, muclear waste, scrap metal, batteries, plastic, rubber. Why the need for the 3 R's when you can "just burn it!" (that'll be my new recycle slogan) Plus, that would be one hell of a fire. I'll bring marshmallows.

-they don't drink alot of water here. More tea. tea tea tea. coffee. mostly tea, though. i guess cause they have to boil the water anyways, might as well make tea out of it.
Also, there's no place in the city where you can buy a coffee to go.. like Tim Hortons or second cup or starbucks or 7-11 or Mcdonald's. I'm not a fan, I'll admit.
No travel mugs either.

Today we went to an orphanage to hang out with the kids. Galia, max and I taught a group of 7 teenage boys how to play rummy. (I'm teaching rummy to the world!)

Okay, that's all that comes to mind right now, so I'm signing off. Good night. See ya later. Enjoy the pictures.




Sunday, November 21, 2004

No more witch talk!

Mid-Project was really great. We stayed at this house (like a bed and breakfast but much more Russian and we had to cook for ourselves) on the spit. (like a skinny piece of land in sticking out of the mainland)

And throughout this post I”ll probably sound really cheesy and cliché, but it was actually a really wonderful heartwarming experience. Maybe I should be a script writer for the carebears..”if we just work together and love each other, everything will be okay!!”

Somehow I feel much closer to many people in the group, and some conflicts we were having before (it kind of felt like our team was falling apart) were settled.

Plus, the spit is beautiful. One day we went hiking along the sand dunes. One side is the Sea, and about 1km away is the gulf. So we saw both beaches. In between there were sand dunes and a forest. We had some free time to walk along the beach. The waves here huge and the weather was freezing, but the air was so refreshing or breathtaking or some other word that I can't think of but should write here to describe the air. I could have listened to the waves for hours. I wished that everybody in the world who I care about could have been standing there taking it in with me.

I strayed a bit too far and was late meeting the group (although I didn’t realize it cause they decided the meeting time after I wandered off) So some people thought I was eaten by a sea monster, but at least I was having a swell time.

I even got over my fear of peeing in the forest. Apparently, I’ve been very adament about not ever doing this my entire life. When I was five, according to my dad, I made my dad’s construction crew stop the job so the foreman could drive me 20 minutes to the nearest bathroom cause I was just much to dignified for the forest toilet. So, this time I figured out the entire process on my own, and I realized that it’s not actually that bad, and the forest is probably much more sanitary than public washrooms anyways.

The weather was freezing for hiking, but I came up with a clever idea to bring some cognac so we could do some shots at lunch and warm us up. When I shared my idea originally, half the people thought I was nuts, and the other half thought I was joking. The Russian supervisor thought it was a good idea, and we bought it. It was called “five star” and a huge bottle was $9. Tasted kind of like scotch, and unless you’re my grandpa, you could see how unpleasant shots could have been. By the way, a label named “five star” is very misleading. But it sure warmed us up!! Body AND Soul.

Overall, the biggest challenge was the cooking. Every meal was cooked from scratch. You might think this wasn’t a huge deal, but groups of 3 cooking for 16 was something I’ve never done before. For one thing, “there are many ways to skin a cat” (as Eckhart would say) and it’s sometimes difficult when other people tell you that you have to do something a certain way or the whole will come to a screeching halt. You’re pretty confident that your way is okay, because you’ve been doing it that way for many years and watching your mother and the Urban Peasant and roomates and professional cooks in a restaurant doing it your way for years and the world is still in one piece..(sort of.)

We bought all the food before, and had to figure out what was bought for each group and make sure not to use the food that was bought for another meal. Breakfast today we were supposed to make crepes (Canadian, right?) except there was no milk to be bought anywhere in the town. Russian reality I guess. Even Turin, Alberta (Population 43 on a good day)has a store where you can buy milk!!) So we thought about us Canadians going to wander around asking any Russian farmers if they had 5 litres of milk to spare. We chickened out, but the thought of it made me crack up.. just imagining.. us after a couple beer harassing some people in the middle of the night.. got milk?? Like about 5 litres? From like one of those cows or something?

The last lunch, somebody grabbed what they thought was a chicken that belonged to the group. When really, it was somebody elses duck.. So they start cooking it and halfway through some lady (the owner of the duck) came in and started telling them that it was hers it wasn’t even a chicken!! The Canadians just nodded and smiled at the lady. It was pretty funny.. we were going to tell them that it was Canadian tradition.. we always steal somebody’s food, cook it up and then serve it to them.. All without consulting the victim first. It’s a part of our culture..

We did some fun activities like spiderweb, where as a team you have to get everybody through a giant spider web in the forest made from string.. and nobody can touch the string. Then we did a game called nuclear meltdown where you have to try and manouvre cups around that are being held by strings which everybody is holding. And then half the group goes blind. Challenging things that were kind of frustrating at times. People yelled at me, “WATCH THE CUP!!” And I was thinking about how on earth I could do that having a scarf tied around my eyes (I was chosen to be blind.) We learned to trust each other. The importance of trust in a team is something I overlooked, but now I see how important it is.

We also had the opportunity to participate in Russian “bagna” It’s like a sauna, except you have these bundles of birch leaves and you wack eachother with them. It’s like exfoliation meets massage meets nature meets rage. It’s supposed to be really relaxing, but the person who wacked me was not very well trained in bagna wacking and went a bit out of control leaving my back with unusual sores.. like a bruise but red and small and not as painful. Like all the blood cells in my back just broke and left me with red markings. I came out of my room and was showing off my back, like “hey guys, you all have this, right?” And they’re like “um. NO that’s not normal at all” So next time, I’ll let an experienced Russian do the wacking. All in all, I felt so good afterwards. It smells great and you’re just sitting there sweating, relaxing, talking, wacking eachother, drinking beer. It’s an activity I definitely wish I could do more of in the future.

We had to write letters to everybody in the group telling them what we liked about them and what we thought they could improve on. This was interesting too, just to see how people see you. I was expecting people to tell me to shut up during group activities, cause I sometimes wonder if I’m too opinionated or loud. (for some reason with this group, I’m not shy at all) And people were like, “you know, you should really open up more because sometimes it seems like you don’t want to share all your ideas.” It’s kind of like things you might hear at your funeral, and it left me feeling good having had the opportunity to be completely honest with everybody and boosted my self-esteem reading about how people notice the things I do and who I am.

Now, I’m feeling pretty positive now, and I guess that’s a good way to start my 5th last week in Kaliningrad.

Banana picture to come.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

But you're a musician. Not anymore. (Witches love lazy saturday afternoons.)

AH I'm in good spirits cause I just received Mr. Andersen's latest and greatest cd in the mail, and am listening to it RIGHT NOW! I think Galia likes it too, mostly cause she hasn't complained yet. (thanks Jeff, it made my day- I'm not happy about livesets being on at 8am here though)

The AIESEC interviewing was very..interesting. Cheslav and I pretended we were important and intimidated young AIESEC hopefuls. We asked everybody what they thought their strengths and weaknesses are. We were kind of surprised that very few could name strengths and all but 2 were unable to name their weaknesses. One girl said she was lazy and another one said she wasn't very clever.
I think I learned alot about how to behave in an interview. One girl was like "I can't answer these questions because I just woke up.. I'll have to think about them" (she came half and hour late too) And some economic majors couldn't name any economic problems in Russia... (50% of GRP is black market, political corruption, banks and insurance companies and the government aren't trusted by anybody blah blah I guess maybe it's just more obvious to a foreigner? I don't know I guess I can't really name any of Canada's economic problems off the top of my head)

Last night, I went to this Renaissance music concert. It was pretty good, mostly cause halfway through this very serious song, they started making farm animal noises, and then that lead into a song where everybody was making cat noises. I thought I was going to pee myself laughing. Lots of the songs were english and french, and they served free hot wine at intermission. So, um, the second half was much better..

Some Polish students came up to us and just wanted somebody to speak english to. They had no Russian translator and nobody spoke any Russian. They thought they were seeing My Fair Lady, which was actually playing across town next weekend, and somehow managed to get into this Renaissance music concert in a museum.. i'm so glad I have Galia to do the talking around here..

Last night, we were invited to her little cafe/shack in the woods for supper and karaoke. We sang the song "We are the world".. and we were mimiking this french tv show where they had a puppet of George Bush singing "we f*ck the world". I think we sang it in elementary school choir.. "we are the world, we are the children, we are the ones to make a better day so let's start giving" we www.sorryeverybody.com is awesome by the way. thanks for the link, mr. mcqueen.

I learned that there is a divide in our group.. THOSe who can't sing (canadians) and those who can (russians) Don't worry, that didn't stop us. I don't expect another invitation..
This was the first time in my life where I actually participated in karaoke, it was almost as funny as when Galen and Chester were facilitating. Galen breaking off into a story about his life mid-song.."so this one time.." takes the cake.

Track 22 is making me really want to get up and dance, so I'm signing off.

Peace love and Boris Yeltsin.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Witchy

Today is Wednesday. I slept in, didn't eat breakfast, the bus wouldn't stop for me cause it was full, (it's like a van-bus that can only seat 8 people.. it's always full it seems) One of those days. I'm sure everybody can relate. So I'll update the blog, instead of working. I predict this will make me feel better.

Monday was a holiday, because it was the celebration of the Russian Revolution of 1917. Sunday Bloody Sunday, I think U2 wrote a song about this. But the government wants to abolish the holiday, and move the Nov 7 holiday to Nov 4, celebrating an obscure day in 1612 when Moscow was freed from Polish occupation..(you all remember this day, right? 1612.. it was raining out and you forgot your umbrella?)
The majority of Russians are opposed to this. Apparantly, there's tons of gatherings on this day (the 7th). I'm not sure if people are partying to celebrate the Bolcheviks or to celebrate not having to work. (I know I was celebrating the Bolcheviks fersure)

There's also some controversy as to whether or not they should remove the huge Lenin statue in the middle of the centre square. Lenin was kind of a big jerk, depending on which history books you read, and maybe doesn't deserve to stand in the middle of the square looking down at everybody. But his influence is significant, cause it kind of affected alot for Russians and the rest of the world. Personally I think it's more exciting for tourists to keep it up. And really, that's all that matters, right?

Speaking of Lenin, and him affecting alot of things of historical significance, yesterday was the 15th anniversary of the Berlin Wall coming down. Anna says we should drink to that. I agree. Prost!! Deutsch Vergnuegen Ueberall!!

By the way, how can you use a banana as a compass?? Just put it on the berlin wall (if they hadn't torn it down exactly 15 yrs ago that is) and see which side has a bite taken out of it..

Tomorrow I am going to AIESEC (like a student internship organization.. they have one in Kaliningrad AND at the U of A and at a billion other cities..) to interview people to see if their english is good enough to go to an english working environment. Should be interesting I think. Maybe I can get bribes.. (which is apparantly common in the russian system so I shouldn't be joking about it)

I'm looking forward to getting yelled at in Russian for trying to take pictures of bananas at the grocery store.



Monday, November 08, 2004

Witch way is it?

Oh no, it's been awhile and now I have lots to say again. Sorry Mr. McQueen!

I experienced Russian Halloween. Not quite as elaborate as Canadian Halloween. The only costumes I saw were myself, wearing a strange hat and Galia wearing devil ears. I didn't see any traces of candy or ghosts, except at a play put on by the English language club. So that's not really an accurate representation. (I wish I had seen more Baba Yaga (i inquired about this strange character thanks to Amanda. Baba Ganoush and Yoga? It's the only way I can remember it.
I give Canada 1 point for having Halloween madness integrated into their culture.

On Halloween, after not getting into the Matrix club (after waiting forever and finding out we needed tickets eeek)

So we went to our regular pizza place, "planet". Everytime I go there, I feel like I'm 12 and it's the first time I've gone to eat out without my parents. It's got a chuckie cheese vibe, but with more gambling and more smoking. The pizza isn't very good, and the music is the cheapest Russian dance/euro-techno/russian pop and it's to loud and there's neon lights everywhere. I say we need a new hangout, but the problem is "planet" has an awesome location and it's cheap, meaning a pizza and beer will run you about $4.

My last post was a slight tinge on the negative side. So this time I think I'll focus on good things. Never mind the complaining in the last 2 paragraphs. Think of it as more descriptive and not complaining..

Pink toilet paper. They have pink toilet paper!! And green. And they're scented. Kleenexes are scented too. I got some kleenex with oranges and apples on the box and it sort of smells like oranges and apples. So then I bought some with dinosaurs on the box cause I was so darn curious. Smells like oranges and apples too. False advertising if you ask me. Which you probably wouldn't.

It was Babooshka's birthday yesterday, so we ate some delicious cake and drank some homemade wine... You're supposed to toast to something and then take a big gulp. My gulping speed was a little slow, so BAbooshka kept motioning towards me to DRINK DRINK DRINK. By the end I just wanted to curl up somewhere and sleep. (maybe homemade wine is a tad stronger than regular wine. More like alcoholic syrup..)

I feel a bit closer to babooshka now. I even learned how to say Happy Birthday in Russian. (i forgot already) but I think she was very impressed. She's 66. Which is pretty young to be a great grandma. Maybe not. I don't know. So alcohol seems to be bringing me closer to the family. strange but true.

Last night Galia and I and Max and Anton (another counterpart pair--actually Anton is my work counterpart (who I complained about earlier) and Maxim the Quebequer (how do you spell quebequer?? quebecer?quebeker?) went for Sushi. It reminded me of Vancouver, and Max and I reminisced about our Canadian paradise. I thought about Douglas Coupeland and how he said in his twenties he traveled the world to find the best city and then after that he realized that his home town (Vancouver) was actually the best. Edmonton is also awesome though.

Anyways, this sushi place is great. And it's open till 6am. It was nice to go out with just a small part of the group and not all 13 of us! I find it way to stressful to go out with that many people.. to find a place that big and a table that big and organize the bill. TEAMWORK. this is all about teamwork I guess. The 4 people at one table was a nice change.

The other day, me and a few other people were sitting in our room and playing cards. And Nikita was chillin with us, cause we give him ample attention so he's like a little magnet to our room. Anyways, he drank like a liter of water and the bottle was like bigger than him and he kept spilling and he had to kind of bend over to concentrate.. we were joking around and saying "this kid seems to have a drinking problem".

About 2 hrs later, Val steps into our room to use the computer. Nikita insits on sitting in his lap. 30 seconds later, Val starts yelling at Nikita. Nikita peed on his lap. This was funny. Val didn't think so. One more thing to add the the list of things that one of us finds funny and the other doesn't. (Val is a cool guy, and I don't wish for anything bad to come his way, but come oN this is funny!)

So this weekend is a long weekend. Russian Revolution holiday something or other. Galia and I seem to be getting along quite well so far, which I'm feeling pretty lucky about. Anton has changed his ways at work, so there's alot less tension. I've convinced a techie guy from our group to come to my work and teach me some php MySql html goodness. too many acronyms if you ask me! (which you probably wouldn't) when I say teach me, I mean do the work for me while I wonder about important things like what "html" really stands for.

Nikita's decided that meals should be eaten on my lap. He does the infamous baby "mix saliva with the food so it turns into a nice goey paste and then smear it on anything within arms reach" and then puts jam into my coffee. He's so cute, I don't even mind. He teaches me russian and pees on Val's lap. How can get upset with him?

We have our "educational activity day" on Friday. Basically, 4 of us have the responsability to presenting a topic (ours is russian economy) in a creative, educational way for the entire day. It's an ongoing thing throughout the program.. and the idea is that we'll get better over time. We're going to make the rest of the group sell something on the street. Hands on Economy education. We think we'll make them sell some meat (you can buy a big bag of leftover parts at the market for $1) and some Canadian pins. Who knows? Maybe this will lead the group into some hands on penal/jail system education?

I'll try to make posts less long and more frequent. And to take more pictures of Steve's couch.

Friday, November 05, 2004


Oksana, my "sister" and I, after I did her hair and make-up.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Wicked witch of the west

Wow, I can't believe it's been over a week since I've posted last. You know what they say.. When in Rome.. oh wait no.. that's not what they say at all. I'm not sure what I do with my time, but I seem to have very little free time. If I'm not out manouvering aroud on the muddy streets, I'm desperately trying to learn Russian or having Nikita terrorizing me by pulling my hair and throwing all my things around. It's cute you say?
Also, the internet in this country is complicating. You need an internet card.. and to get one you have to buy one.. and to buy one you have to talk to the person at the store.. you get the idea. Complications, complications and more complications.. but today, I went and bought an internet card. I'm sure there's some lame saying.. "complications are only opportunities in disguise" whatever.

I've had a bit of a cold/flu/culture shock/some strange type of Russian illness lately, which is quite annoying. I ate some liver and spinach for lunch today, and I figure that will cure me OR kill me. Time will tell I suppose.

Work is going okay. Not good. Just Ok. My "supervisor" who is actually another guy from our group.. and kind of took the role of supervisor just for the sake of it.. well he's kind of annoying. He thinks about everything for a long time, and he's kind of old fashioned.. he's very chivalrious.. (is that a word? polite to women..opens doors and stuff ya know) yet treats them like they're half retarded. Granted, sometimes I have acted half retarded, but I he doesn't know that. I'd rather open the door myself and be treated with some respect. I have to wait for him to tell me what to do.. so while I wait, I sit and try to teach another co-worker french. I think it's important.. for her to learn french.. and then I know from the way he looks at me that he secretly wants me to die. Also, he has the key to the office, and he comes 15 minutes late. If I come on time, which for some reason I have been, I have to wait outside. The only reason he got a key is because he's a boy. And therefore manly and responsible.

So I talked to Cheslav, our russian group supervisor, whose really cool and understanding. He reminds me of Frau McAllister (high school german teacher) and he told me that it'll be hard, but I have to deal with this right away or it'll turn into something much worse than it needs to be. He said that all kinds of people need feedback, because sometimes their attitudes (towards work, punctuality, oposite sex, etc) are just habitual and they don't understand why they might hurt other people. Feedback. Give him feedback. No problem. Next week, focus will be on Feedbacking.

A few days ago, Axana (Nikita's mom) came into my room while I was asleep. She woke me up by sitting on my bed and trying to kiss my cheek. She had drank some vodka and wanted me to go to the disco with her. I was not really in the mood for a disco, so I tried to decline.. I was a bit annoyed, not cause i wanted to be, but because it's just natural instinct to be kind of pissed off when Mrs. Vodkabreath is sitting on me while I'm trying to sleep. So she asks me to teach her some english swear words. It was funny, cause I seemed to have an abundance at the tip of my tongue.
"screw off and get the F*ck out of my f*cking room you stupid idiot" I saw it as a good way to express emotion, she saw it as a learning experience. She said she'd leave me alone if I would smoke a cigarette with her. So I did it. And then went to sleep. This was also another bonding experience I think. Seeing people when they are most vulnerable, they can't really hide as much as they normally do. She's pretty cool.

In the mean time, I've been learning alot from Val, my bro (check out the pic) He taught me that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. He said this while wearing slippers with playboy bunnies on them and drinking out of his super cool coffee mug (let me describe it. So on the cup there's a fisherman standing by a river fishing. And when you put something hot in the cup, a mermaid appears in the river and is giving the fisherman a blow job. It's called Angler's Glueck or Fisherman's luck. Good way to start the day off.. with some hot tea or hot coffee. I don't really find it that funny. i guess I don't have a sense of humor.)

On the topic of "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," this place is a bit behind the times in terms of.. attitudes..towards..cough..women.. Men never shake hands with women. If there's a group of people, men and women, the men will say hi and shake hands only with the men. Handshaking is just a guy thing.. like fishing I guess.. I dunno..
Regardless of who the woman is or what she does or how much money she has or who she's married to or how well she cooks.. no hand shaking. end of story. That was a bit of a shocker for me. It's not necessarily a disrespectful thing, just a thing. different attitude.. we had the same thing in Canada awhile back.. 1954..some of you might remember. (sorry I don't mean to be venting here or offending any Russians, I just have to get this "culture shock" issue off my chest)

One other cultural difference I'll bore you with. duh duh duh.. TIME is NOT IMPORTANT here. Earlier, I noted that my supervisor comes late.. it's not a problem. Others come to work an hour late and it's not a problem. I'm not saying that everybody is lazy and unproductive. They just don't place the same value on time as we do. Cheslav told me a saying.."an american will come 10min. early, a german bang on time, japanese 10 minutes late, Italian an hour late a bit tipsy and a russian won't come at all and won't call to cancel. Yeah, this is a stereotype for sure, but stereotypes are based on truths. You're supposed to meet somebody at a certain time and they show up an hour late. No apologies, no lame excuses (like we make in Canada) they just sit and act like nothing happened. I found this a bit annoying, cause it's like they have no respect for your time. But in a way, it's cool.. cause I've been late in the past, in Canada for example. Turns out I was never late, I was just in the wrong country. Once you catch on, you learn to be late for things. When in Rome...

I've signed up to be a witch in a Russian children's halloween play, so I'm pretty excited about that. I get to carry an umbrella and dance like a witch. Should be a nice balance of fun and humiliating. I'm excited for the weekend and for my flu disappear.. when in Rome..!!??




Wednesday, October 20, 2004

CHECK OUT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE (WITCH)

OKay, I figured out how to make links, but unfortunately I only know how to put them at the very bottom of the page. so check them out already. way at the bottom. keep going. by the way these people are some of my very favourites and they very cool and you can learn alot from them.

peace and love

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Greenwitch time

HA! I just finished my first weekend at my new house. Entirely enjoyable. (just thought I'd throw in some alliteration there to keep you all on your toes) Saturday we hosted a party at our house. My brother wanted to meet the crew and compare our group to his group last year. We all drank way too much vodka and cheap beer and by 8:30pm, we were a little "piani" as the Russians would say. I guess maybe next time we should start later or drink slower or drink less or find vodka that isn't $5 a bottle so we'll have a reason to slow down or drink less. We did some quality dancing, as the party took place in our garage. Even Nikita (my one and a half year old brother)was dancing. So cute. He was cute the whole night, except when he spit up chocolate cake into his cup.. i think that's a russian thing. or a baby thing. whatever.

Before the party, I was having a conversation with my "sister" who is also Nikita's mom. She's about 23 I think. When I say having a conversation, I mean she was talking and laughing and I was smiling and noding and throwing random russian words that I can remember. regardless of whether or not they make any sense in that context. or in any context for that matter.
So before I knew it, I was in her bedroom with a brush and bobby pins, mascara and hairspray and I was doing her hair and make-up. Without any words, I managed to inadvertently convince her that I could do her hair and make-up. She wanted it done up, cause she was heading out on the town. I learned that day that hair styling and make-up defy all culture barriers. Later she told me (via a translator) that we could be friends even though she never understands anything I say. Then she asked me if I wanted to smoke opium with her. She was joking, but this tells me that she has a sense of humor, and that the russian word for opium is the same as the english word for opium. Which I think is good to know.

I have to say I enjoyed this bonding moment with her, and it makes me want to learn some more russian words so I can surprise her with something really smart like "nice weather we're having, don't you think?" "are you up for some more opium smoking?"

Today the whole crew went out for a bbq to the Baltic Sea. It was so windy on the beach you could hardly stand up. And you couldn't hear what anybody was saying because the waves were too loud. good fun. We made a fire in the forest area and ate some russian meat. and all in all, it felt really good to get some fresh air. Max(a participant from quebec) tried to teach me Chinese on the way back, so now I've reached my weekend academic quota too. hen ho ma. Shanghai. Beijing. (He's a terrible teacher btw.)

Tomorrow I start my new job. 9:30am. Should be fun. I don't think fun is the word I'm looking for. Those of you who have or have had jobs I think can relate to whatever the word is that I might be thinking of. Not necessarily a negative word, just something other than "fun."

The only thing I'm not enjoying very much is that people drive like lunatics here. Pedestrian signs don't really mean anything and there's no lanes drawn on the roads so the cars just weave in and out wherever they see fit. Add in some trams and trolley busses and you've got traffic terror (yet another alliteration i should really be a poet) So whenever I cross the street, I start singing "die young stay pretty" It helps me cope.

I talked to JENN and my mom and Dad and brother today (for the first time), and that felt really good. Thanks for being home, guys.

My address here is
TELMANA 44a
20036008
KALININGRAD, Russia

no bombs please, unless it's lip balm.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

BLACK MAGIC BLACK MAGIC

Today I get to go to meet my work placement people. I'm working in the BIDA office, and BIDA happens to be the organization that also organizes (to sound especially repetitive cause organizations organize organizational organizing organs) this program. Baltic International Development Association. Acronyms are gay.
The founder (IGOR) copied CIDA (Canadian International Development Association) except one is like a thousand people and this one is six people. I'm supposed to build them a webpage, which is pretty awesome cause I have alot of experience doing that. OH WAIT I'M THINKING OF SOMEBODY ELSE. I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I'M DOING.

My luggage finally arrived. I went to the airport with my boss (IGOR) who is also the supervisor of the program.. and we picked it up. The guy working there tried to convince me that it wasn't my luggage and I wanted to kick him in the face. Eventually he let me take it. Who else tries to duct tape their bag so it won't burst open and then runs out of duct tape 3/4 of the way around??

Igor told me some great stories.. He was in Toronto once on Jonge street and he decided he wanted to find big black drug dealers so they could teach him slang.. so he asked around for the "ghetto" and was eventually pointed to some guys standing around a fire and he went up to them and said, "Yo wuzzup bro?" Not, "what's up", but "wuzzup". So these guys just starting laughing hystirically. Igor explained his attemps at learning slang. They cut him some slack, probably cause Igor was dressed in a suit and had a Russian accent. People always tell him that this is the stupidest thing he's ever done, but I think it's kinda cool. Hilarious. and cool.

My "brother" Val the other evening took us out to 2 bars and then to smoke a water bong and then to smoke some Lotus leaves. He seems very eager to keep us entertained. Works for me. And Galya.

The honeymoon phase of culture shock seems to be slowly dying.. and I'm getting into the "I hate not understanding anything and feeling scared and lost and out of place and missing home phase" which is painful, but seems to be inevitable and hopefully short.





Sunday, October 10, 2004

Witches

You'll never believe this, but I am still alive and well..

The flight over was pretty painless, except for that I tried to bring barber scissors on the plane with me cause I didn't realize they were in my bag and.. the lady working there just about had a heart attack. She glared at me and said, "did you know you have a pair of barber scissors in your carry on?" I actually brought them on purpose just to spice up her day.

So we get to the airport in Lithuania.. and I waited and waited but my luggage just never came. Everybody elses did.. but mine somehow got lost. Both of them. At the time, I didn't really care. Stressing out about it wouldn't solve anything. And they said they would deliver it in a day. But as of today it's been a week and I'm starting to get pissed off. Apparantly that airline doesn't fly to Kaliningrad, so it'll have to go on a different airline.. and I want to call and yell, but they wouldn't understand me cause they don't speak no english. If I don't get it soon I'm going to cry.

On the drive from the airport to the camp, there's trees on both side of the highway, and there's no shoulders. Apparantly, the nazi's thought this one up. It's a little bit dangerous, because if you aren't paying very close to the road, you'll ram into a tree and probably die. So the drew white stripes on all the trees, and the headlights kind of light up the stripes. and it looks really crazy at night with all these white stripes everywhere. Kind of "alice and wonderlandish". They should name a band after these stripes or something.

We had to cross the Lithuanian border into Russia which was pretty freaky. It took 2 hours, cause apparantly we had all the wrong papers. But in my Visa, they wrote my name in Russian , which is AMN TEPEZA MNRP. Which is pretty fucking cool. This makes up for the army clothes and the not understanding what the hell was going on for 2 hours.

I have been at Orientation camp for the past week which was in a Zldaviningrask or some other name that I cant even try to spell. No internet access, but there was a place where you could use the phone and send telegrams. Which was handy, cause I like to send alot of telegrams. No sorry that was a mean thing to say. I was tempted to wake up my parents at 3 am, but I decided against it. We're ten hours ahead of you guys. Advanced, if you will.
This town was secluded, but beautiful. Right on the coast of the Baltic Sea.

We stayed at this hotel, but I use the term hotel very loosely. There was occasionally no water at all, and rarely hot water. And the water we did have we couldn't drink because of an Hepatitis A problem. So that was a little shocking to hear that water can make you sick in so many ways..i thought we had it bad..
there was a kitchen, but they had 2 dishes in the whole thing. And the tiles were all off on floor and the bathroms smelled so rank..ew. There were some old guys living there. They were drunk .. often, and one spoke english, so he latched on the one of guys in the group who did vodka shots with him. This guy made the equivalent of $5 a month on a pension. It's kind of a slap in the face to see this country and how people deal with the cards they've been given.. so to speak. What's funny is despite how poor people are, they still wear amazing clothes. They walk to the store and they look like they're going for a job interview. We're such slobs.. ;)

Our group is pretty cool. This one guy, Max, decided that I am witch and he keeps trying to light me on fire, cause apparantly he doesn't like witches. Yesterday he thought we should make a campfire on the beach.. and he was measuring me to see how big my casket should be.. fun times.. unless you're a witch..

We got our Russian counterparts finally. I got the one I wanted, so that's cool. Her name is Galya, and she seems like quite a gal. She's from the Ural mountains and her english is pretty good. From what I can tell, she likes history, fashion, boys, singing and dancing. Seems like a good combo..

We got into our families today, which I was a little nervous about. (little = alot)

Galya and I are the only ones from the group living in a house, one of the only ones with a car and internet access, and a dishwasher and a washing machine. We even have a sauna, dusch and a urinal in the bathroom. there's 9 people in total that live in the house. 4 generations. Babooshka, 2 parents, 2 kids who are grown up, one's wife, their baby, one Russian girl named Galya and some wacky CAnadian chick. One of my "brothers" did the program last year. I've been warned he thinks he's a Casanova. key word = thinks. It should be a good family all in all.

Well there's so many things I want to tell you all about. I will post my adress once i figure it out. I miss you all a ton. Like actually one metric ton.

well, I gotta go explore the city now, and meet the rest of my massive family.








Sunday, October 03, 2004

We fly out tomorrow. I'm getting butterflies. But these butterflies are mean.
I feel like I have tons of things to do, when really I don't, it's just 2 big things that I'm paranoid about forgetting.

Did anybody know that grocery stores aren't open on Sundays in Halifax? Why didn't you tell me?
I went swimming oh what a great time that was.. I had the whole pool to myself I guess nobody in this city swims?! I guess they are all crazy. So after my swimming adventure I feel much more confident as embark on my journey to save the world.

We had an awesome session yesterday afternoon with 2 people who have done the program. (one of the ladies is "best friends" with the Russian organization head and she's been there like 5 times so she knew her stuff like it was nobodys business)
So my fears are pretty much calmed and I'm ready to get the show on the road. I'm debating whether I need more cd's before I go.. for example.. I lost my Garden State Soundtrack (apparantly I left it at the library in Edmonton!?) so if anybody wants a Garden State Soundtrack they can just go to the library and say they're me and they'll get one oh what a great time that would be. I hope you enjoy it!


Saturday, October 02, 2004

Lunch Break Down

I'm so impressed. Lena told me 2 yrs. ago while we were in Halifax about the library and how it offers free internet and such. Turns out I still have a membership at this library! hip hop hooray!

I've been learning some interesting things in the last hour:

- It was the Germans that started the first youth hostel. I love the Germans. (the part about loving them I knew already)

- The legal drinking age in Russia is 22. Turns out I'm the only one in the group who is under 22. I'll just sit at home with my homemade absynth I guess...

The other 6 people in our group seem like an interesting bunch. I'll be forced to hang out with them ALL THE TIME so that's kind of a relief.

We went out for some Alexander Keith's last night because those who like it like it alot. (we were at a pub that was 2 blocks away from the brewery. Nobody was as excited as me about this)

Apparantly the bus ride from the airport in Vilnius, Lithuania to Kaliningrad is 11 hrs. I'm assuming the bus will be top quality with four lane freshly paved spacious highways...
I'm glad I brought 60 cds and have brought 3 more since I've gotten to Halifax. I had a nightmare last night that my discman broke. Maybe I'll buy an extra one just in case.

I'm gonna grab some Halgonian foods and header on back.


Thursday, September 30, 2004

(Forever) Live and Die

I just got into Halifax. This city is as awesome as I remember. Like Vancouver for obvious reasons, but replace Starbucks with Tim Hortons and replace heroin addicts with fishermen. Something like that.

I met one of the Canada World youth workers and he seemed pretty cool and I'm feeling good about what I've managed to get myself into. He gave me some money and dared me to stop in to the Canada World youth office cause he has some work for me to do. yikes. And he had new sunglasses with orange lenses. which give him superpowers or something.. I wasn't really paying attention.

Anyways, this internet cafe is on Blowers Street. I can't think about it without laughing. maybe I am a 14 yr. old boy trapped in a 20yr old girls body.. or maybe I'm tired. Or maybe both.

I think I'll head back to the hostel and see if I can get some rest. Or seee if there's any potential single serving friends kicking around. Or practice waiting in line.
Tomorrow I get to hang around the city by myself for the entire day. I'm not sure why I came a day earlier then everybody else. Maybe they drew my name out of hat or something.. probably a big furry hat.


Wednesday, September 29, 2004

living like it's the last night on earth.. or something..

Sorry for the lag in the blog updates. My parents internet is out of order, so I was cut off from the world for awhile. AHHH. cut it out.

First I would like to apologize to anybody who I offended with my out of control drunkeness on Saturday. From what I remember, I had a really fun time. And judging from the pictures, even the parts I don't remember looked kinda fun too. (where did that container of vaseline come from??) Last thing I remember was wishing I had 3 hands instead of 2 so I could hold 2 Heinekens AND do a shot of Jägermeister AT THE SAME TIME. I think that reason exactly is why humans only have 2 hands. It's a safety feature. Like in cars.

I was super happy to see lots of yous out. It makes it a little hard to leave seeing you all out rockin' and rollin', chillin' and killin' and whatnot.. hey man is that your car? Its nice. Is it new? or is it an old one I haven't seen?

Sunday was Christmas ( I got a camera YEE HAW) and my dad, aka Jesus' birthday. Jesus turned 53. And that only happens once in a lifetime, so we went out for dinner with my entire family plus one extra, namely Daniel's girlfriend. She managed to squeeze her way in to a steak dinner somehow... what a weasle.
So after a lovelee dinner.. as we're getting ready to leave, Daniel says, "Let's make like Tom and Cruise" and then Jesse replies, "let's make like a banana and split" and then Corey (the youngest) says "You guys are stupider than a screen door on a submarine" (he may be young, but he does have a point.) As always, I could't help but laugh at their stupid bantering shananigan give us 5 minutes and we'll get us kicked out of ANY restaurant ways..
Suddenly, out of nowhere, my mother yells out.. as she finished her 2nd glass of wine, "Let's make like Paul Coffey and GET THE PUCK OUT OF HERE" (the capital letters indicates that my mother slightly raised her voice, enough for other tables around to take notice of the borderline vulgarity of her expression)
I used to think my mother was so innocent and naive, and now I'm forced to believe that she can whip out puns as if she invented the puckin' things.

Monday I hung out with my dad. He's having some eye problems, so we went to see 3 different doctor dudes. One of them put these eye drops in which dilated his pupils, making him look like he just dropped a couple hits of Ecstacy and/or acid. Or maybe he did some ecstacy while he was in the doctors office you just never know. We went to get his license renewed, and the lady at the registry place gave him the most skeptical look when he told her he wanted to renew his license. She pulled him aside and asked for 2 extra pieces of ID. Then, she got some co-workers to come check him out. Eventually, my dad looked in the mirror and realized his striking resemblance to a candy flipping hippy raver wacked out on a Monday afternoon. He explained the situation. Eventually the lady believed his story and gave him his license. And a sucker. She even gave me a sucker. What a gal. So the moral of the story is, if you're even dropping acid and ecstacy on a Monday afternoon and you need to get your license renewed, just say you got some special drops put in your eyes.. works like a charm. Who said parents don't teach yas anything useful??

Goodbyes are really fun! (read: not fun at all) My favourite part was how people react to somebody crying on the bus. Approximately half ignore it, and the other half just STARE. it's kinda creepy actually..

I think I'm beginning to understand why people don't undertake so many ridiculous overseas adventures as they get older. It's kinda tough putting your life into a little cubby hole (like in Kindergarden where you keep your outdoor shoes and your indoor shoes) and eventually coming back to it. Having left it unattended for 6 months, some shoe thieves could have snuck in during nap time and cut your shoes up and used it to bury in the sandbox. Or it could be perfectly intact. Risky Business. Tough on the old heart strings. But I'm forced to remind myself of a song by Elton John called "crocodile rock" and then I know that everything will be alright.

Tomorrow I'm off the HALIFAX. In the AM. Which is like my name, but without a Y.

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Ode to Barrie aka Barbie G

As the days to my departure draw near I am reminded of an old saying, "pass the salad". I am not sure that that applies but I am sure that we all feel the same way about salad and possibly salsa, like the chips not dancing. On the same note I got to see my dear friend Barrie yesterday and seriously she is a dear, we went to a place not far from here, it is a magical place with rainbows and little people, we sang oh how we sang, into the night we sang-you could hear our voices rise in unison, and this is where we end.
Tonight is the night, what night you might ask and if you do ask I would say you are a retard, read the blog. Tonight we joing forces and prepare to take on our toughest challange yet...we call it operation sea otter. It begins at the black dog where our tacticle forces will be organizing the battle. I look upon tonight with a joyous yet saddened heart, I am excited to go to that place that I am going to but in the same breath I also note that I am sad to leave you all. So I think I will just get really drunk so I don't have to think about it or maybe I will just not go- so there, thats for not coming to my birthday, you thought I would forget didn't you, answer me, YOU THOUGHT I WOULD FORGET....well I got news for you chuckles I never forget. So when I am in Russia on my birthday- maybe I won't even be there- but I will think of you and laugh and laugh and laugh.
In closing as my dear friend Elton John once said, " I remember when rock was young, me and Suzie had so much fun holding hands and skippin stones had an old brown chevy and a place of my own...something something something...alligator"

Don't correct me. OR SIR ELTON its what he said.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Starwars Battlefront

Well I never thought the day would come where I would find myself at Crosshairs on a thrsday night at 10:30.The future is hard to predict.Because I have found myself here.

The decor is quite nice. The walls are painted a lovely shade of blue.. dark enough that it isn't childish, yet light enough that it's not too dingy.
Plus the art is amazing. There seems to be a "crosshair" theme throughout, which I honestly think the find patrons here do not appreciate enough. They have have couches, which look kinda comfy. I might even go sleep on one after I'm done this post.

Tomorrow is my second last day of work. I have a feeling it's gonna be awesome. Anna is taking over my computer once I leave, and I should probably organize everything before the official handover. I have renamed "Amy's heart drive" to "BBQ Masters wild at heart drive" And I changed my metal heart icon to a leopard printed heart icon. Anna has extensive BBQ experience, and therefore deserves the title of BBQ Master.

I need to also burn all the music on my computer onto cd's. So that should keep me nice and busy for most of the day. This would all be better if I could bring my computer with me. I've grown quite attached to it. I replaced the harddrive, I added more ram, and I've typed many many words on the little keyboard. I've accumulated a wonderful collection of icons and wallpapers. I suppose Anna will take good care of it once I'm gone.

Well, that's enough crosshair madness for one night I suppose. Is it really possible to have enough crosshair madness? Stay tuned.


this should be added to all keyboards


tywych01
Originally uploaded by Pepper-mint.

Professional Distortion

It's terrible.. I'm a total slacker! I didn't get into work until 9, which means I was an hour late. I stayed and hour late yesterday.. which should count for something.

I went to the Black Dog (but we've changed the name to Dead Dog) with Anna and her friend Allan. He's from Jasper and I've heards tons tons and more tons about him. And I finally got to meet him. He's as cool as I expected.

I have to say I'm a little worried, because it's lunchtime and Anna seems to be.. somewhere else that isn't here. By the time I left the Dead Dog she was complimenting me on my shirt alot..

No Anna? What's a girl to do? No Cecylia? She's not in for another hour. I am not impressed.

Tonight I'm going to see Shaun of the Dead (assuming we get there early enough and we can get a spot into the premiere) It's a comedy. And it's British. and it's got zombies in it? It has to be good. I'm not so sure about the zombie part, but I guess you can't go wrong with funny zombies Or can you? I'll get back to you on that one.

I've just found out, thanks to our team leader, Mr. Cooperation (that's what he called himself-I think that's a good sign- he's in charge of the 8 Canadians going to Kaliningrad-I've never met him, but I trust him already.. anybody who nicknames themselves Mr. Cooperation gets my stamp of approval) that there are many internet cafes in Kaliningrad. Isn't the internet cool? Now I can annoy everybody from abroad. What a relief.




Wednesday, September 22, 2004

geek-vodka-bread-moustache-stomach-mobster situation

I have been accused of being a geek because I have a blog. I didn't realize that blogs and geeks were so closely linked. I always thought I was a geek (thanks to Lena, my witty friend from TO, who is really witty btw. She's also a geek) long before the beginning of my blogging adventures. I guess now it's official. To anyone who is thinking of starting a blog, beware!! cause it's a geeky thing to do!

On to more geeky topics..

Saturday I'm planning on hitting the Black Dog (with a baseball bat) (oh man, i am a geek cause I think that such stupid puns are actually funny) for some beer and such. Say goodbye to my friends. And the Black Dog. And Canadian beer. And Whyte Ave I guess. Then I'm hoping to convince some cool people that staying up all night is a good idea and head over to Y, because Hatiras, some house dj dude from TO (Hey Lena, do you know him? He has dark hair and is kinda tall and sometimes carries around records) is playing. Apparantly.

This type of occasion has alot of potential to be sad. On the bright side, beer in Russia, along with most other things, is cheap. It's true what they say..Vodka is ridiculously cheap. Unfortunately, whenever I drink vodka, I get a horrendous stomach ache..it kind of feels like the vodka is eating through my stomach. So maybe I'll pass on the vodka. Or maybe I'll carry around a stash of bread..(a moustache?) Apparantly they drink it at dinner. Shots of it. Maybe they eat bread for supper. If only I could be that lucky.. yeesh.. other people think they have problems? They obviously haven't encountered the vodka-stomach-bread-mobster situation. Not yet anyways.







Tuesday, September 21, 2004

9 more sleeps! (I need to be more creative in the titles I think)

One small change was made to the settings of this thingy. Now anybody can post a comment, not just people with blogs. Doesn't mean you have to. But you can. If you happen to get a hanckering. How do you spell hanckering? Cause I spell it like this. Even if it's wrong. Especially if it's wrong.

Alot of new and exciting things are happening. I'll update you:

-I have managed to get a cold. My nose just suddenly started running. It was pretty crazy. (don't worry, I chased it down)

-My mom decided that we should celebrate Christmas on Sunday cause somebody won't be around for the ACTUAL Christmas, which is pretty cool. Christmas can never come too early. It's also my dad's birthday on Sunday. It'll be like a 2 in one. Maybe my mom secretly thinks my dad is Jesus..."ok kids.. christmas has been moved to your fathers birthday this year..and every year.."

-Our coffee machine at work seems to be having some difficulties. One pot now takes about 30 minutes instead of the usual 8 minutes (don't ask me how I know) and the coffee kind of tastes like it was made with tonic water and peat moss instead of water and coffee beans. This is a good sign. The timely breakdown of our coffee machine means my departure could not be at a better time. Feeling good about this. Only a few more days of peat moss tonic water beverage..mmm



Monday, September 20, 2004

10 Sleeps!

Well, this girl I know who is really cool started a blog. And I thought that I would copy her because that's what I do best.

So I'm leaving for 6 months. To Russia for the first 3. (PEI for the second half, but I'll ramble about that later)
Russia politically, not so much geographically. The place is called Kaliningrad (Калининград), and it used to be Königsberg, which was the capital of East Prussia, which was a province of Germany. It's between Lithuania and Poland. The history is amazing and complicated and tragic.

I didn't even know this place existed until I found out I was going there. I mean.. um .. I did extensive research and then decided this place was right for me..

I am in the process of learning Russian, which is very complicated. Калининград !! for example. My favourite cyrillic letter is definately the "d" sound, which is д, I think it looks like some type of insect. It's gonna just run out of the word any second and we'll be forced to say Kaliningra.. and it'll be trouble.. people will ask where the "d" sound went and I'll tell them it just ran away..with its little D-LEGS.

I was at Steve's housewarming party on Friday and I met a very cool girl from Russia. She tought me an important vulgar expression and now I feel much better about my lacking Russian skills. Quality, not quantity I suppose.

The closer I get to leaving, the more stressed out, excited and neurotic I'm getting. It seems that the most difficult things I've taken on seem to be the most worthwhile, so I guess difficulty is a good sign. The best analogy I've heard so far is that the worst case scenario will probably be like a bad hair cut. It's a mad panic and then after a couple days you adjust to the change. I'm sure everybody can relate to a bad hair cut, right? The hardest part will be saying bye.. to my stereo.. and my friends and family and my job. (starts sarcastic sobbing over the job)