someone sent me a bunch of rules and 2 really hit home. I share.
New Rule 1: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for
Weddings Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab.
Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you
isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule 2: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in
Months "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese.
And I didn't care in the first place.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Brought to you by the letter B
I'm sitting in the basement of the business building. i really just like saying basement of the business building because there just so many b's, you know? not like BEES bees but B's b's you know? like right after A? that would be funny if there were bee's in here. Probably we would get stung and run around and stuff. But hey, Free honey!
Did you know that google is hiring an average of ten new employees each business day? It's earned 7 billion dollars in the past year. I just thought everybody should know about this as you google your way through life..
The other day, a strange thing happened.. just let me tell you about it..
I was trying to use an expired bus ticket.
Normally what happens is usually one of the following:
1. bus drivers don't notice
2. bus drivers do notice and don't care
3. bus drivers do notice and care and then i pretend i didn't notice
This bus driver noticed. and cared. he waved me up to the front of the bus and started yelling at me about how much money people like me cost the city and how much ETS is subsidized by the blah blahs and the bling blings and people like me cause the problems of society.
He told me that my actions were so horifying that he was going to call SECURITY! (What the hell is bus security? Would they take me to bus jail? Would they black-bus-list me? If anybody knows more details of bus security, please feel free to fill me in)
In case you were wondering if this is a good way to start your day, it isn't. the bus had a bunch of people on it already, who I'm sure enjoyed his Spiel attacking me on a very personal level for my mistake. He asked me if my wrongdoings were some kind of "sick joke." I want to make it clear tht it wasn't some kind of sick joke. If I wanted to play a sick joke on anybody, I hope to God that it wouldn't be something as pathetic ripping off the city of Edmonton $1.60. There are sicker things to do.
I won't get into details, though. I think the motivation behind truly "sick jokes" are much harder to comprehend than a net financial gain of $1.60.
Meanwhile, while he was "teaching me a lesson" I tried to scrounge up the stupid bus fare. I only had $1.25, which for anybody who doesn't know, IS NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO TAKE THE BUS. So, I said "I only have $1.25 so I'll just walk." My eyes filled with tears and I ran home and got my bike. I rode to school (in a mini-skirt..which was really the only reason I wanted to take the bus in the first place, so everybody wouldn't be offended/distracted by my uncovered legs)
I thought maybe there was a memo about cracking down on idiots like me .. so all bus-drivers were going to collaborate and save the fricking world by making sure everybody PAYS. Except the same day, my roomate was let onto the bus for free, just for smiling at the bus driver. That bus driver must have missed the memo.
Just for the record, my bike ride to school was delightful. I rode on the SIDEWALKS with NO HELMET and I have NO BELL. I went out of my way to inconvenience PEOPLE WITH CARS and ASSHOLE BUS DRIVERS who are, for the most part, what makes society ILL.
No offense to people with cars.
Did you know that google is hiring an average of ten new employees each business day? It's earned 7 billion dollars in the past year. I just thought everybody should know about this as you google your way through life..
The other day, a strange thing happened.. just let me tell you about it..
I was trying to use an expired bus ticket.
Normally what happens is usually one of the following:
1. bus drivers don't notice
2. bus drivers do notice and don't care
3. bus drivers do notice and care and then i pretend i didn't notice
This bus driver noticed. and cared. he waved me up to the front of the bus and started yelling at me about how much money people like me cost the city and how much ETS is subsidized by the blah blahs and the bling blings and people like me cause the problems of society.
He told me that my actions were so horifying that he was going to call SECURITY! (What the hell is bus security? Would they take me to bus jail? Would they black-bus-list me? If anybody knows more details of bus security, please feel free to fill me in)
In case you were wondering if this is a good way to start your day, it isn't. the bus had a bunch of people on it already, who I'm sure enjoyed his Spiel attacking me on a very personal level for my mistake. He asked me if my wrongdoings were some kind of "sick joke." I want to make it clear tht it wasn't some kind of sick joke. If I wanted to play a sick joke on anybody, I hope to God that it wouldn't be something as pathetic ripping off the city of Edmonton $1.60. There are sicker things to do.
I won't get into details, though. I think the motivation behind truly "sick jokes" are much harder to comprehend than a net financial gain of $1.60.
Meanwhile, while he was "teaching me a lesson" I tried to scrounge up the stupid bus fare. I only had $1.25, which for anybody who doesn't know, IS NOT ENOUGH MONEY TO TAKE THE BUS. So, I said "I only have $1.25 so I'll just walk." My eyes filled with tears and I ran home and got my bike. I rode to school (in a mini-skirt..which was really the only reason I wanted to take the bus in the first place, so everybody wouldn't be offended/distracted by my uncovered legs)
I thought maybe there was a memo about cracking down on idiots like me .. so all bus-drivers were going to collaborate and save the fricking world by making sure everybody PAYS. Except the same day, my roomate was let onto the bus for free, just for smiling at the bus driver. That bus driver must have missed the memo.
Just for the record, my bike ride to school was delightful. I rode on the SIDEWALKS with NO HELMET and I have NO BELL. I went out of my way to inconvenience PEOPLE WITH CARS and ASSHOLE BUS DRIVERS who are, for the most part, what makes society ILL.
No offense to people with cars.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
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