Well then.

091207usatoday global warming.91, a photo by RedMonk Red on Flickr.

A week and a day ago, my grandfather passed away. He is the first person close to me who has died - and I guess this makes me lucky, especially considering this lately-more crazy world we live in. He was a very interesting man who I admired and respected very much. He was sharp-witted, generous, and had an air about him that made you feel like you were important whenever he spoke to you. He kept meticulous records of history, relevant news clippings, birthdays, his personal finances, and he also had a roaring social life and knew what was important to him. He died surrounded by 19 children and grandchildren - literally standing around his bed, feeling connected enough to him that they would be willing to witness his final breath of air. I figured if you die like this, you've done something right.

The reverend canon at his funeral talked about the desire humans have to have a home, and the desire they have to leave home, and related this to my grandpa's own life of leaving home, and coming back better - to contribute to his community in a more meaningful way, to be able to have special skills, in his case a teaching education, that he could use to make his community better. He had a strong sense of where he came from but he also had a great adventurous side in him, and I think that was the base of our relationship. He actually approved of adventures, and I actually admired his ability to have a strong a foundation, and a strong 'home'.

This theme really resonated with me as I have been aching to leave home - whatever that is for me- again for quite some time. I feel like I need this constant ebb and flow or leaving and returning or else I get bored and depressed. I am waiting to hear from a school in Sweden to see if they will accept me - oddly enough the town is directly across the Baltic Sea from Kaliningrad, Russia, what was formerly Prussia, and also where the name of this blog comes from. Somehow I am drawn back to this Russian enclave. Oddly enough my grandpa printed out my entire blog and gave it back to me in a binder. He thought it was important to add to his meticulous records, and he enjoyed my updates, or at least claimed to.

The above picture is of my father and grandfather, enjoying one of the last days of summer. We moved a bench from beside the house to the center of the grass and it was one of the last days I spent listening to my grandfather's stories - as if he wanted to share them one last time while his memory, mind, and voice were all clear enough to let him. He could remember more about what happened in 1940 than I can remember about last week. I take comfort in knowing that my grandpa will be with me, in some form or another, at home, or as I leave home. I just have to deal with the fact that he won't be reading my blog and printing it out for me anymore.

Oddly enough I was feeling overwhelmed with all the options I have to spend my Sunday afternoon. I should be outside as it is sunny. I could be walking, riding my bike, kayaking, canoeing, or sunbathing. I should be gardening, or doing yard work. I could be reading, cooking, doing laundry, or buying groceries. I could be shaving my legs or cleaning my room. I should be writing that letter to the government explaning that the rules of the Tax Free Savings Account were not clear and that I don't want to pay a fine. I also have a big week ahead of me at work and I should be working a bit to ease the shock of tomorrow morning. Can I do all of these? Some of them? How long will each one take? How is it that it is already 6:30 and I haven't really done much of anything despite all these seemingly important things I should be doing.

Plagued by my decisions I went onto ted.com and just started listening to random talks. Oddly enough, I quickly found this one about the Paradox of Choice; this guy's thesis is that the amount of choices we have in the western world has a negative impact on our lives. No matter what we choose we are always curious about the next best thing we should have chosen. We are responsible for what we choose to do so we blame ourselves when something goes wrong or isn't perfect. We are able to spend our time to make us happy, so what happens if we pick things and then they don't make us happy? I feel like whatever I write, I am somehow paraphrasing someone elses smart ideas so I might as well be upfront about it. The examples he talks about are salad dressing, vacation spots, who you marry and what type of drugs you should use to treat your health problems.

Thanks, random man on Ted.com. I feel alot better about not knowing how to chose an activity for my Sunday afternoon.

'Merica, Music, Men and Kindred Spirits

When I was 18, I was in a hostel in Rome drinking wine with some fellow english speaking travellers. I met a boy who seemed to have alot in common with me. We lived thousands of kilometers away from eachother but were somehow listening to the same music, watching the same tv shows and developing the same world view. Everybody else called it a night and we started wandering around Rome and did so well into the wee hours. We passed by all the major monuments, with wine in hand, we ate gelato in some little cafe with cute old men watching soccer. We shared all kinds of things with eachother that we generally don't share with strangers. He said he was from Colorado and that I should go to Red Rocks one day because it is the most amazing outdoor amphitheatre in the world. 7 years later I heard of many of my favourite bands playing at this Red Rocks place and I decided along with a cute boy that we could and should make it happen.

So we drove from Calgary to Colorado. It's about 1800km one way, and you have to drive through 2 entire states; Montana & Wyoming. The journey was great for many reasons. America is an f'd up place, the festival was ever so entertaining, and I had a very cute, burly and entertaining travel partner.

Part 1 - 'Merica

Travel south for 300 km and you will hit another country and you'd assume that things would be pretty similar to Canada. You learn almost immediately after crossing the border that things are not quite the same. The differences are almost impossible to describe. Signs for fast food restaurants and gas stations are uncomfortably bigger and taller, you can buy beer these gas stations, people somehow have odd accents, there are about 2000 casino's per capita, and healthy delicious food is nowhere in sight.

Take the city of Billings, Montana for example. There is something that makes me uneasy about this place. You can't help but notice that the town was built around the railway and oil refineries or the stench from these refineries. Our goal was to stop, eat some semi-healthy food, stretch our legs, and get back in the car. We spent almost an hour driving around unable to find a restaurant other than Taco Bell. The entire city looks like the wrong side of the tracks. Finally, on our 3rd loop through the city where we ended right downtown where there was 1 suitable restaurant with some sort of cheese-sauce buffet taking place.

Keep in mind, we were in the free world. People in 'Merica can learn, worship, think, consume, watch and read whatever they desire. The world is their oyster. Yet they choose Taco Bell, refinery row retirement complexes and all you can eat cheese sauce.

I came home and learned that Billings is in fact voted by Men's Health magazine the #3 best place in America to Raise a family. It is known for their hospitality industry (there are 480+ restaurants), there are in fact 3 oil refineries, and people are not sent here or forced to stay but they make a conscious decision to make this place their home. Maybe they find the industrial stench refreshing as it equates with cash money and freedom. Maybe I wasn't there long enough to see the beauty of this place, or maybe people are scared to leave.

Part 2 - Music!

So many great bands, songs and dancing opportunities, but I will just talk about one. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I don't even like them that much typically, but their show was amazing. Every seat in the red rocks was incredible in that you could see every detail on stage and hear everything perfectly. During the song "Maps" I started crying and I have no idea why. Then I went home, watched the video and saw that Karen O. was also crying during this song, and a bunch of comments below the video of people saying they started crying during the song too. People were nice, the beer was delicious, and bands were great. Red Rocks is incredible, and pushing idiots aside so I could be in the front row for HEALTH makes me a better person.

Part 3 - Men.

There's no way I will talk about this on here even though nobody is reading this. Let's just say when he dropped me off at 3am after 4 days together and 3600km worth of conversation, I would have been happy to get back into our little Malibu and start the whole journey again.

Oh yeah, two days after returning from this journey, this boy from Colorado who I met in Rome in August 2002 found me on facebook and reminded me of our stroll through the city that night. He lives in Japan now and just had his first baby a few days ago. Strange.

Maxifort and Feist is still like catnip for girls

I recently started re-reading this entire blog- from start to finish. I was highly entertained at the beginning. I came to the realization that I used to be really interesting when I was about 21. I was on great adventures abroad, meeting all sorts of bizarre and/or incredible people, doing things that were risky and dangerous and that terrified me and constantly pushing the boundaries of my own comfort zone and forcing myself to do things that seemed impossible. Oh wait a minute that was somebody else I'm thinking of. I can't remember if I was anything like that. I do know that I only ever wore skirts; I went to Russia so I could keep wearing my scarves throughout the winter, and I had a huge collection of earrings. I drank beer and just remember being really, really interesting and deep, despite the fact that I only ever thought about skirts, scarves and earrings.

Then something happened, it’s a long story. I’ll provide highlights.

1. I moved to Calgary, also known as the heart of the New West. I work for ‘the man’ – the fat man in fact, in a building full of asbestos. It has jail cells in the basement because it used to be a courthouse. I have a cubicle that is way to big for somebody of my intern status and I put all the good fortunes I get from fortune cookies on my wall. Apparently next summer I will dance to a different beat, and people in my surroundings will be more cooperative than usual.


2. I live with my grandpa’s little sister. She is awesome.

She tells her friends that she got Amy instead of getting a dog. To be fair, I am loyal, I love chasing balls around and I am pretty damn cute.

She’s got 57 years on me, but we seem to have a lot in common. We both love V8, avocados, being cynical even though we pretend not to be, and CBC Radio 1. We both agree that Ralph Klein, despite his charisma, is still a moron. We talk about love, losing love and what it’s like to be a woman in the workplace in 1940 vs. 2009. She tells me about living in London right after WW2 ended, walking to work through Central Park when she lived in the Upper West Side, riding on uncomfortable canoes in the Philippines, and how much New York has changed since she lived there in the ‘50’s. She is smart, independent, and lets the cold hard truth come barreling out after 1 pint of beer.

She teaches me important things like how to prepare something for dinner other than crackers and olives, how to water plants, how different knives are to be used for different things. She’s also teaching me how to be more selfish, what a grandparent's role should be in a family, how to plan for the future, and how not to not give a hoot what anybody thinks. She tells me all of these things put together are called “being and Adult.” It’s pretty fun.

3. My cats are no longer with me. They are with a skinny, hyper-articulate, moderately gnarled, well-intentioned music snob with a tendency to compensate for insecurities through intellectual arrogance [1]. I'm sure they are flourishing in their new environment, and I'm sure they think of me often, right in between thinking about how awesome laser pointers are and how funny it is to watch humans react after they smear their paws in some wet sticky food product and run around the apartment.

4. AMA is AMAzing. I recently invested in a Gold Membership and it has changed my life. Five minutes in that place and I safe, adventurous and responsible. Plus- Free maps! 5. I want to be Nancy Drew. She is outspoken, fearless, familiar with the power of suggestion and association, she’s a fine painter, speaks French, and frequently runs motor boats. She is a skilled driver, a sure shot, an excellent swimmer, a skillful oarsman, an expert seamstress, gourmet cook and a fine bridge player. She excels at tennis and golf, and rides like a cowboy. She solves mysteries in a blue convertible! She can administer first aid and dance! She is as cool as Mata Hari and as sweet as Betty Crocker. I think I should change my name to Nancy Drew and start looking for mysteries.

I have been learning a great deal since I realized that Feist was like catnip for girls. I learned you don’t need a prescription in Mexico, amazing people can be found where you least expect it, and nobody can bring me happiness or dream my dreams for me. I learned that things aren’t always what they seem, and that I can let go of control without losing control. Also, handkerchief is spelled with a ‘D’.

I take comfort in the fact that I've almost somehow come back to the 21yr. old adventuress who started this blog. I still do stupid things all the time and somehow it feels good to break the rules. I still love Balderdash, ridiculous puns and dancing till the sun comes up. The only difference is that now I pay taxes, I wear pants in addition to skirts, and I know that I could never be with somebody that sulked from Minneapolis to Winnipeg because I missed the turnoff for Chipotle Mexican Grill and couldn’t turn around on the interstate.




[1] Special thanks to Janelle Awesome, Information Officer at the Department of Awesome for helping me hyper-articulate this.

Feist is like catnip for girls

Just thought I'd write a bit of an update about the world - or my world.. cause there won't be a very adequate view of anybody else's world here. Last post was April 21st, so I figure I need to add something or let this thing die. Facebook has really been boring lately so I'm back to old internet habits, like "blogging."
I forget what I usually write about, or how I write, and there's really a lot to write about.. new city, new job (temporary new job, hopefully a new new job soon, fingers crossed) but for this post I will focus on what I've learned lately. Don't laugh.

1. Stupid to the Last Drop: How Alberta Is Bringing Environmental Armageddon to Canada (and Doesn't Seem to Care) is an actual book.
I haven't read it, yet, and if this book is about what I think it's about (he may be pulling a Will Ferguson "why I hate Canadians" stunt here) but according to random house, this book is about Alberta "On It's digging, drilling and blasting its way to oblivion, becoming the ultimate symbol of Canada's-and the world's-pathological will to self-destruct."

This calls for some type of critical review.. Luckily, a fine reporter from the Globe and Mail has beat me to it. Andrew Nikiforuk writes:

" Explore any Appalachian-sized open-pit mine north of Fort McMurray, and you'll find a new national dream writ larger than life as well as scores of Montreal engineers having the time of their lives. You can call tar-sand developers anything you want, but "stupid" is one adjective that would never come to mind. Most are incredibly accomplished and erudite men. So let's be honest and stop blaming Alberta for keeping half the nation tanked up in carbon-emitting fuels. The really big truth is this: Canadians are land abusers, carbon makers and resource exploiters extraordinaire. It's what we do best."

You can read his whole review here.

2. Feist is like catnip for girls. I've finally caved. She's so awesome, and I've only heard a few songs from her new album. one two three four - the video is so fun! Colour coordinated dancers, blue shiny outfit, Catchy tune! what girl doesn't love that?
Also, the Besnard Lakes are worth noting.

3. Back to the topic of Alberta, and how they really have done a good job with the whole privatization of liquor stores. I'm sure when I was still in diapers, there was major problems with the whole privatization process and lots of good people lost money and there were scandals and rude editorials and heated arguments, but now, in comparison to Ontario's liquor disaster, Alberta looks mighty fine .
We can buy alcohol at 1:59am at a store. Small beer producers can sell, and display their beer on shelves. There is a competitive market for liquor, meaning anybody can start a liquor store, meaning lots of people do, meaning there's lots of them, meaning not everybody goes to the same one, meaning you probably won't have to stand in a line. No joke, there's a line up out the door of the Beer Store (A chain, cleverly called the Beer Store, that sells only beer, (not even cider) also the only store that can sell beer in Ontario) most nights. People can't see what they're buying, they roll out your product on conveyor belts from the back room after you make your order. You'd think that this store is government owned and operated and all the money is going towards health-care and better schools, but the Beer Store is privately-owned. A handful of people are making handfuls of money, and people have to wait in line for their beer! What a world?!

LCBO (where you can buy non-beer alcohol) is ok, except the hours suck, there aren't many of them, and they carry way too much shitty Ontario wine. Luckily, Quebec is 5min. away so we can visit the depanneur if necessary. Who am I kidding? I don't even drink that often, cause I'm too busy serving fancy cheese to diplomats and watching Law & Order.

4. People are interesting. Case in point: My international accounting teacher. He is an accountant from the states with a strong Matt Damon north-east US accent who lives in Quebec and works in Ottawa. He calls the canadian dollar "the loon" and calls easy things "a lay-up" (Are lay-ups easy?) He also talks about the euro in Sweden (there is no euro in Sweden) and in Norway (a country not part of the EU) and reminds me of the high-school football coach I never had. Thank you, University of Ottawa.

5. Hi Michele, you better be reading this. And watching Persepolis.

Saturday Night Fever

DISCO ELEVATOR

Trois-Pistoles

This summer I will go to Trois Pistoles UWO French Immersion School for 5 weeks! It's on the St. Lawrence River and people there speak french! I will stay with a host family, which I usually enjoy. I am excited - about learning french, exploring Canada, meeting new people, plus A-man and I will be in Montreal in the same time (not really planned) so we can hang out there fore awhile before I'm off to 3pistols. I am also excited about using the government's money to pay for fun things! I have been trying to do this as much as possible before I start to pay a single penny in taxes.

There is also a beer from Belgium with the same name: Trois Pistoles. I think having a beer with the same name as a town you're going to is a good sign.

Vive le Sprintime!

“The Gross National Product includes air pollution and advertising for cigarettes, and ambulance to clear our highways of carnage. It counts special locks for our doors, and jails for the people who break them. GNP includes the destruction of the redwoods and the death of
Lake Superior. It grows with the production of napalm and missiles and nuclear warheads. And if GNP includes all this, there is much that it does not comprehend. It does not allow for the health of our families, the quality of their education, or the joy of their play. It is indifferent to
the decency of our factories and the safety of our streets alike. It does not include the beauty of our poetry or the strength of our marriages, or the intelligence of our public debate or the integrity of our public officials. GNP measures neither our wit nor our courage, neither our wisdom nor our learning, neither our compassion nor our devotion to our country. It measures everything, in short, except that which makes life worthwhile.”
Robert F. Kennedy
March 18, 1968

tiRED

I just got back from my class on Corporate Social Responsibility and Social Entrepreneurship and I am very bubbly, as I usually am after this class.

Today we picked apart cause-related marketing ie breast cancer pink campaign, HIV-AIDS red campaign, any company that donates a % of profit, or proceeds, etc. to charity.

On one hand, it's kind of ridiculous; companies are using a disease to gain them more exposure, and positive exposure at that. They are likely to make more money by attaching their name to a good cause, even if at the end of the day charities would be better off if people just donated to them seperately if that was something they valued. Once you get past the fact that we don't know how much of the profit or what the profit is - that is being donated, there is still know way of knowing what the charity is doing or how efficient it is.

For example, there is treatment for HIV-AIDS but most of the people that need it can't afford it. So what is project RED going to do about that? I buy a red ipod cause I want $10 to go to a charity who donates money to the Global Fund. After everybody has a red ipod* and a red phone and red clothes. I'm sure the Global Fund is well run and is doing great things. But more money seems to be spent by these companies in advertising the fact that they are part of Project RED than is actually donated to the Global Fund.

*(meaning Apple makes tons of money - even though they are the WORST offender in terms of creating hazardous, non-recyclable material waste pollution worldwide according to Greenpeace, but we'll deal with that once we figure out this whole AIDS issue)

An AIDS activist I met on PEI mentioned that they were developing an immunisation for HIV-AIDS, and when they found that it worked better on black people than on anybody else, they scrapped it. So, there are things that charities can't do, no matter how much money they make. Like prevent pharmaceutical companies from wanting to please their shareholders by earning profit, for example.

On the other hand, who cares? We spent alot of money on silly things and one fraction of a percent of those dollars might as well go towards fighting a cure for breast cancer or fighting HIV-AIDS. Plus the whole "walk for the cure" thing is a nice community building exercise. As long as charities are busy plugging away, filing in the gaps, problems will be temporarily fixed or hidden and society will depend on the goodwill of volunteers and shoppers on the look-out for pink and red.

That said, check out Earthwater.org. This dude is from Edmonton and he started his company with very specific core values, and a guiding quote: "if you had the chance, would you change the world?" He answered yes to this question and now he's exploiting the fact that the luxury/bottled water industry is growing exponentially and donating the money directly to UNHCR - avoiding the bureaucracy costs that the UN is criticized for. The money is being used to build wells in places where it is needed, so more people have access to water.

Huddle formation

Well, the chocolates are running out quickly on my advent calender so this means Christmas will soon be here. I'm so happy Advent calenders were invented.

Yesterday I did the traditional last minute present buying for mom excurtion with my dad. We were so overwhelmed by mall, we went for Nachos and wings instead. Once we had some vague form of nourishment, we were better prepared to search for the also yearly pyjamas and stocking stuffers. We also settled on Hana's suitcase, even though it's a pre-teen book, because the play was just so great. Turns out only 2 bookstores in city had a copy left, so it was fun to drive around at the last minute trying to make sure we got one of those copies. We hung out in Greenwoords books for an hour picking out the perfect calender. Then we walked around the Legislature building to see the millions of lights and the little ice scuptures and my dad told stories of us being little and taking us toboganning and out for weiner roasts in the winter. Apparantly we were more fun to hang out with when we were little. It was a nice evening.

Then I got to work knitting a scarf that I plan to have done by Christmas while listening to an audiobook about a white girl growing up with Rhodesia, which ties in nicely with the latest movie I saw, Blood Diamonds, a lovely movie about bling bling and bling blang. I recommend it over the holidays. I also recommend audiobooks. Those professional readers can do various accents much better than I can in my mind.

The kitten is stuck in the closet again so I need to call the fire department or get a chair and go fetch her out pronto.

Tonight should be fun - 3 Christmas parties, I plan on bringing our wine with us everywhere we go, but in the spirit of the holidays, I promise not to drink too much of it or break any chairs or wine glasses.

For everybody I won't see tonight and a bit for those I will see, MERRY KRASSMAS and lots of love, laughing and learning for the new year.

Waddlin' around

Golden state. And how.

If they can do it, why can't we?

How to of the day

go see this!

Caught watching kitty porn...

Caught watching kitty porn...
Originally uploaded by maladiets.

No more orange

During lunch break today I was distracted by my own blog - I went back and read some random posts from September, 2004, when I started it. I realize that I am a huge geek - sometimes in that geeky cutesy way and sometimes in that geeky- irritating way. I'm glad I did it though - so many things happened and I wouldn't be able to remember them otherwise, especially travel stories and my closed-minded opinions from days gone by..

A few weekends ago, I traveled to L.A. (Lethbridge, Alberta - no joke people there call it that) My brother, Daniel, who normally goes out of his way not to hang out with me and recently returned from a long journey to Oz and New Zealand (wait a minute,old Zealand anybody?)invited me and he has a car and I wanted to visit my grandparents who live there and it just seemed like the perfect combination. The last time I went there was in June, and it was a big family event: 100 year anniversary of the family farm. It was a bit rushed and also a bit busy but it was still really interesting hearing the story of my great-grandfather who came to Canada from England in 1906 and built a homestead. I never really thought about the story before - I knew that somebody at some point had moved here from Europe and then had kids who had kids and their kids are.. me. But the logistics of all the history details seemed too overwhelming for me.
After this anniversary party I had a somewhat different perspective. So I did some research.

My great-grandfather left Bourn, in Cambridgeshire, north of London apparantly, where is dad owned this very mill. a It's a flour mill and date back to sometime between the 13th century and the 17th century (apparantly there weren't alot of changes made to Mill's between that time so they don't know how old it is). My great great (maybe one more great) was also the owner of "The Fox" which is a public house. I'm pretty sure that means a pub, but I'm just guessing. Or maybe just a place where people hung out to chat about current events.

I contacted the historical society in the area and they will send me information of some sort about the Fox and the Mill and my family.

As you can see, alot has changed since September 2004. I'm no longer a geek!

bye!

Everybody is leaving this city!
At first I was disappointed that everybody is cutting town - but now I'm ready to accept this. People are moving on - following what matters to them - love, adventure, money, a career - all of which I approve of. I'd rather have all my friends dispersed throughout the planet than have them all in one city bored and miserable. They wouldn't be the people I'd want to hang out with. And no, it doesn't mean you're bored and miserable if you stay in Edmonton, but if you're not following whatever is calling you, then you run the risk of becoming.. bored... or miserable. But of course there are no guarantees; you could probably spend your entire life here without any direction or goals and still be completely happy - or you could hop around to various cities following what you think would make you happy - and then be miserable. Like Douglas Copeland said, which I am paraphrasing - like I could remember a direct quote: "I travelled the world looking for the best city out there and then realized that my hometown was the best city going" (Vancouver) Not that Edmonton is the best city going or anything, and not that I'm trying to discourage you all from leaving, but ya know - I have to tell myself something if I'm going to be staying here for awhile.