'Merica, Music, Men and Kindred Spirits

When I was 18, I was in a hostel in Rome drinking wine with some fellow english speaking travellers. I met a boy who seemed to have alot in common with me. We lived thousands of kilometers away from eachother but were somehow listening to the same music, watching the same tv shows and developing the same world view. Everybody else called it a night and we started wandering around Rome and did so well into the wee hours. We passed by all the major monuments, with wine in hand, we ate gelato in some little cafe with cute old men watching soccer. We shared all kinds of things with eachother that we generally don't share with strangers. He said he was from Colorado and that I should go to Red Rocks one day because it is the most amazing outdoor amphitheatre in the world. 7 years later I heard of many of my favourite bands playing at this Red Rocks place and I decided along with a cute boy that we could and should make it happen.

So we drove from Calgary to Colorado. It's about 1800km one way, and you have to drive through 2 entire states; Montana & Wyoming. The journey was great for many reasons. America is an f'd up place, the festival was ever so entertaining, and I had a very cute, burly and entertaining travel partner.

Part 1 - 'Merica

Travel south for 300 km and you will hit another country and you'd assume that things would be pretty similar to Canada. You learn almost immediately after crossing the border that things are not quite the same. The differences are almost impossible to describe. Signs for fast food restaurants and gas stations are uncomfortably bigger and taller, you can buy beer these gas stations, people somehow have odd accents, there are about 2000 casino's per capita, and healthy delicious food is nowhere in sight.

Take the city of Billings, Montana for example. There is something that makes me uneasy about this place. You can't help but notice that the town was built around the railway and oil refineries or the stench from these refineries. Our goal was to stop, eat some semi-healthy food, stretch our legs, and get back in the car. We spent almost an hour driving around unable to find a restaurant other than Taco Bell. The entire city looks like the wrong side of the tracks. Finally, on our 3rd loop through the city where we ended right downtown where there was 1 suitable restaurant with some sort of cheese-sauce buffet taking place.

Keep in mind, we were in the free world. People in 'Merica can learn, worship, think, consume, watch and read whatever they desire. The world is their oyster. Yet they choose Taco Bell, refinery row retirement complexes and all you can eat cheese sauce.

I came home and learned that Billings is in fact voted by Men's Health magazine the #3 best place in America to Raise a family. It is known for their hospitality industry (there are 480+ restaurants), there are in fact 3 oil refineries, and people are not sent here or forced to stay but they make a conscious decision to make this place their home. Maybe they find the industrial stench refreshing as it equates with cash money and freedom. Maybe I wasn't there long enough to see the beauty of this place, or maybe people are scared to leave.

Part 2 - Music!

So many great bands, songs and dancing opportunities, but I will just talk about one. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I don't even like them that much typically, but their show was amazing. Every seat in the red rocks was incredible in that you could see every detail on stage and hear everything perfectly. During the song "Maps" I started crying and I have no idea why. Then I went home, watched the video and saw that Karen O. was also crying during this song, and a bunch of comments below the video of people saying they started crying during the song too. People were nice, the beer was delicious, and bands were great. Red Rocks is incredible, and pushing idiots aside so I could be in the front row for HEALTH makes me a better person.

Part 3 - Men.

There's no way I will talk about this on here even though nobody is reading this. Let's just say when he dropped me off at 3am after 4 days together and 3600km worth of conversation, I would have been happy to get back into our little Malibu and start the whole journey again.

Oh yeah, two days after returning from this journey, this boy from Colorado who I met in Rome in August 2002 found me on facebook and reminded me of our stroll through the city that night. He lives in Japan now and just had his first baby a few days ago. Strange.

Maxifort and Feist is still like catnip for girls

I recently started re-reading this entire blog- from start to finish. I was highly entertained at the beginning. I came to the realization that I used to be really interesting when I was about 21. I was on great adventures abroad, meeting all sorts of bizarre and/or incredible people, doing things that were risky and dangerous and that terrified me and constantly pushing the boundaries of my own comfort zone and forcing myself to do things that seemed impossible. Oh wait a minute that was somebody else I'm thinking of. I can't remember if I was anything like that. I do know that I only ever wore skirts; I went to Russia so I could keep wearing my scarves throughout the winter, and I had a huge collection of earrings. I drank beer and just remember being really, really interesting and deep, despite the fact that I only ever thought about skirts, scarves and earrings.

Then something happened, it’s a long story. I’ll provide highlights.

1. I moved to Calgary, also known as the heart of the New West. I work for ‘the man’ – the fat man in fact, in a building full of asbestos. It has jail cells in the basement because it used to be a courthouse. I have a cubicle that is way to big for somebody of my intern status and I put all the good fortunes I get from fortune cookies on my wall. Apparently next summer I will dance to a different beat, and people in my surroundings will be more cooperative than usual.


2. I live with my grandpa’s little sister. She is awesome.

She tells her friends that she got Amy instead of getting a dog. To be fair, I am loyal, I love chasing balls around and I am pretty damn cute.

She’s got 57 years on me, but we seem to have a lot in common. We both love V8, avocados, being cynical even though we pretend not to be, and CBC Radio 1. We both agree that Ralph Klein, despite his charisma, is still a moron. We talk about love, losing love and what it’s like to be a woman in the workplace in 1940 vs. 2009. She tells me about living in London right after WW2 ended, walking to work through Central Park when she lived in the Upper West Side, riding on uncomfortable canoes in the Philippines, and how much New York has changed since she lived there in the ‘50’s. She is smart, independent, and lets the cold hard truth come barreling out after 1 pint of beer.

She teaches me important things like how to prepare something for dinner other than crackers and olives, how to water plants, how different knives are to be used for different things. She’s also teaching me how to be more selfish, what a grandparent's role should be in a family, how to plan for the future, and how not to not give a hoot what anybody thinks. She tells me all of these things put together are called “being and Adult.” It’s pretty fun.

3. My cats are no longer with me. They are with a skinny, hyper-articulate, moderately gnarled, well-intentioned music snob with a tendency to compensate for insecurities through intellectual arrogance [1]. I'm sure they are flourishing in their new environment, and I'm sure they think of me often, right in between thinking about how awesome laser pointers are and how funny it is to watch humans react after they smear their paws in some wet sticky food product and run around the apartment.

4. AMA is AMAzing. I recently invested in a Gold Membership and it has changed my life. Five minutes in that place and I safe, adventurous and responsible. Plus- Free maps! 5. I want to be Nancy Drew. She is outspoken, fearless, familiar with the power of suggestion and association, she’s a fine painter, speaks French, and frequently runs motor boats. She is a skilled driver, a sure shot, an excellent swimmer, a skillful oarsman, an expert seamstress, gourmet cook and a fine bridge player. She excels at tennis and golf, and rides like a cowboy. She solves mysteries in a blue convertible! She can administer first aid and dance! She is as cool as Mata Hari and as sweet as Betty Crocker. I think I should change my name to Nancy Drew and start looking for mysteries.

I have been learning a great deal since I realized that Feist was like catnip for girls. I learned you don’t need a prescription in Mexico, amazing people can be found where you least expect it, and nobody can bring me happiness or dream my dreams for me. I learned that things aren’t always what they seem, and that I can let go of control without losing control. Also, handkerchief is spelled with a ‘D’.

I take comfort in the fact that I've almost somehow come back to the 21yr. old adventuress who started this blog. I still do stupid things all the time and somehow it feels good to break the rules. I still love Balderdash, ridiculous puns and dancing till the sun comes up. The only difference is that now I pay taxes, I wear pants in addition to skirts, and I know that I could never be with somebody that sulked from Minneapolis to Winnipeg because I missed the turnoff for Chipotle Mexican Grill and couldn’t turn around on the interstate.




[1] Special thanks to Janelle Awesome, Information Officer at the Department of Awesome for helping me hyper-articulate this.

Feist is like catnip for girls

Just thought I'd write a bit of an update about the world - or my world.. cause there won't be a very adequate view of anybody else's world here. Last post was April 21st, so I figure I need to add something or let this thing die. Facebook has really been boring lately so I'm back to old internet habits, like "blogging."
I forget what I usually write about, or how I write, and there's really a lot to write about.. new city, new job (temporary new job, hopefully a new new job soon, fingers crossed) but for this post I will focus on what I've learned lately. Don't laugh.

1. Stupid to the Last Drop: How Alberta Is Bringing Environmental Armageddon to Canada (and Doesn't Seem to Care) is an actual book.
I haven't read it, yet, and if this book is about what I think it's about (he may be pulling a Will Ferguson "why I hate Canadians" stunt here) but according to random house, this book is about Alberta "On It's digging, drilling and blasting its way to oblivion, becoming the ultimate symbol of Canada's-and the world's-pathological will to self-destruct."

This calls for some type of critical review.. Luckily, a fine reporter from the Globe and Mail has beat me to it. Andrew Nikiforuk writes:

" Explore any Appalachian-sized open-pit mine north of Fort McMurray, and you'll find a new national dream writ larger than life as well as scores of Montreal engineers having the time of their lives. You can call tar-sand developers anything you want, but "stupid" is one adjective that would never come to mind. Most are incredibly accomplished and erudite men. So let's be honest and stop blaming Alberta for keeping half the nation tanked up in carbon-emitting fuels. The really big truth is this: Canadians are land abusers, carbon makers and resource exploiters extraordinaire. It's what we do best."

You can read his whole review here.

2. Feist is like catnip for girls. I've finally caved. She's so awesome, and I've only heard a few songs from her new album. one two three four - the video is so fun! Colour coordinated dancers, blue shiny outfit, Catchy tune! what girl doesn't love that?
Also, the Besnard Lakes are worth noting.

3. Back to the topic of Alberta, and how they really have done a good job with the whole privatization of liquor stores. I'm sure when I was still in diapers, there was major problems with the whole privatization process and lots of good people lost money and there were scandals and rude editorials and heated arguments, but now, in comparison to Ontario's liquor disaster, Alberta looks mighty fine .
We can buy alcohol at 1:59am at a store. Small beer producers can sell, and display their beer on shelves. There is a competitive market for liquor, meaning anybody can start a liquor store, meaning lots of people do, meaning there's lots of them, meaning not everybody goes to the same one, meaning you probably won't have to stand in a line. No joke, there's a line up out the door of the Beer Store (A chain, cleverly called the Beer Store, that sells only beer, (not even cider) also the only store that can sell beer in Ontario) most nights. People can't see what they're buying, they roll out your product on conveyor belts from the back room after you make your order. You'd think that this store is government owned and operated and all the money is going towards health-care and better schools, but the Beer Store is privately-owned. A handful of people are making handfuls of money, and people have to wait in line for their beer! What a world?!

LCBO (where you can buy non-beer alcohol) is ok, except the hours suck, there aren't many of them, and they carry way too much shitty Ontario wine. Luckily, Quebec is 5min. away so we can visit the depanneur if necessary. Who am I kidding? I don't even drink that often, cause I'm too busy serving fancy cheese to diplomats and watching Law & Order.

4. People are interesting. Case in point: My international accounting teacher. He is an accountant from the states with a strong Matt Damon north-east US accent who lives in Quebec and works in Ottawa. He calls the canadian dollar "the loon" and calls easy things "a lay-up" (Are lay-ups easy?) He also talks about the euro in Sweden (there is no euro in Sweden) and in Norway (a country not part of the EU) and reminds me of the high-school football coach I never had. Thank you, University of Ottawa.

5. Hi Michele, you better be reading this. And watching Persepolis.

Saturday Night Fever

DISCO ELEVATOR

Trois-Pistoles

This summer I will go to Trois Pistoles UWO French Immersion School for 5 weeks! It's on the St. Lawrence River and people there speak french! I will stay with a host family, which I usually enjoy. I am excited - about learning french, exploring Canada, meeting new people, plus A-man and I will be in Montreal in the same time (not really planned) so we can hang out there fore awhile before I'm off to 3pistols. I am also excited about using the government's money to pay for fun things! I have been trying to do this as much as possible before I start to pay a single penny in taxes.

There is also a beer from Belgium with the same name: Trois Pistoles. I think having a beer with the same name as a town you're going to is a good sign.

Vive le Sprintime!

“The Gross National Product includes air pollution and advertising for cigarettes, and ambulance to clear our highways of carnage. It counts special locks for our doors, and jails for the people who break them. GNP includes the destruction of the redwoods and the death of
Lake Superior. It grows with the production of napalm and missiles and nuclear warheads. And if GNP includes all this, there is much that it does not comprehend. It does not allow for the health of our families, the quality of their education, or the joy of their play. It is indifferent to
the decency of our factories and the safety of our streets alike. It does not include the beauty of our poetry or the strength of our marriages, or the intelligence of our public debate or the integrity of our public officials. GNP measures neither our wit nor our courage, neither our wisdom nor our learning, neither our compassion nor our devotion to our country. It measures everything, in short, except that which makes life worthwhile.”
Robert F. Kennedy
March 18, 1968

tiRED

I just got back from my class on Corporate Social Responsibility and Social Entrepreneurship and I am very bubbly, as I usually am after this class.

Today we picked apart cause-related marketing ie breast cancer pink campaign, HIV-AIDS red campaign, any company that donates a % of profit, or proceeds, etc. to charity.

On one hand, it's kind of ridiculous; companies are using a disease to gain them more exposure, and positive exposure at that. They are likely to make more money by attaching their name to a good cause, even if at the end of the day charities would be better off if people just donated to them seperately if that was something they valued. Once you get past the fact that we don't know how much of the profit or what the profit is - that is being donated, there is still know way of knowing what the charity is doing or how efficient it is.

For example, there is treatment for HIV-AIDS but most of the people that need it can't afford it. So what is project RED going to do about that? I buy a red ipod cause I want $10 to go to a charity who donates money to the Global Fund. After everybody has a red ipod* and a red phone and red clothes. I'm sure the Global Fund is well run and is doing great things. But more money seems to be spent by these companies in advertising the fact that they are part of Project RED than is actually donated to the Global Fund.

*(meaning Apple makes tons of money - even though they are the WORST offender in terms of creating hazardous, non-recyclable material waste pollution worldwide according to Greenpeace, but we'll deal with that once we figure out this whole AIDS issue)

An AIDS activist I met on PEI mentioned that they were developing an immunisation for HIV-AIDS, and when they found that it worked better on black people than on anybody else, they scrapped it. So, there are things that charities can't do, no matter how much money they make. Like prevent pharmaceutical companies from wanting to please their shareholders by earning profit, for example.

On the other hand, who cares? We spent alot of money on silly things and one fraction of a percent of those dollars might as well go towards fighting a cure for breast cancer or fighting HIV-AIDS. Plus the whole "walk for the cure" thing is a nice community building exercise. As long as charities are busy plugging away, filing in the gaps, problems will be temporarily fixed or hidden and society will depend on the goodwill of volunteers and shoppers on the look-out for pink and red.

That said, check out Earthwater.org. This dude is from Edmonton and he started his company with very specific core values, and a guiding quote: "if you had the chance, would you change the world?" He answered yes to this question and now he's exploiting the fact that the luxury/bottled water industry is growing exponentially and donating the money directly to UNHCR - avoiding the bureaucracy costs that the UN is criticized for. The money is being used to build wells in places where it is needed, so more people have access to water.

Huddle formation

Well, the chocolates are running out quickly on my advent calender so this means Christmas will soon be here. I'm so happy Advent calenders were invented.

Yesterday I did the traditional last minute present buying for mom excurtion with my dad. We were so overwhelmed by mall, we went for Nachos and wings instead. Once we had some vague form of nourishment, we were better prepared to search for the also yearly pyjamas and stocking stuffers. We also settled on Hana's suitcase, even though it's a pre-teen book, because the play was just so great. Turns out only 2 bookstores in city had a copy left, so it was fun to drive around at the last minute trying to make sure we got one of those copies. We hung out in Greenwoords books for an hour picking out the perfect calender. Then we walked around the Legislature building to see the millions of lights and the little ice scuptures and my dad told stories of us being little and taking us toboganning and out for weiner roasts in the winter. Apparantly we were more fun to hang out with when we were little. It was a nice evening.

Then I got to work knitting a scarf that I plan to have done by Christmas while listening to an audiobook about a white girl growing up with Rhodesia, which ties in nicely with the latest movie I saw, Blood Diamonds, a lovely movie about bling bling and bling blang. I recommend it over the holidays. I also recommend audiobooks. Those professional readers can do various accents much better than I can in my mind.

The kitten is stuck in the closet again so I need to call the fire department or get a chair and go fetch her out pronto.

Tonight should be fun - 3 Christmas parties, I plan on bringing our wine with us everywhere we go, but in the spirit of the holidays, I promise not to drink too much of it or break any chairs or wine glasses.

For everybody I won't see tonight and a bit for those I will see, MERRY KRASSMAS and lots of love, laughing and learning for the new year.

Waddlin' around

Golden state. And how.

If they can do it, why can't we?

How to of the day

go see this!

Caught watching kitty porn...

Caught watching kitty porn...
Originally uploaded by maladiets.

No more orange

During lunch break today I was distracted by my own blog - I went back and read some random posts from September, 2004, when I started it. I realize that I am a huge geek - sometimes in that geeky cutesy way and sometimes in that geeky- irritating way. I'm glad I did it though - so many things happened and I wouldn't be able to remember them otherwise, especially travel stories and my closed-minded opinions from days gone by..

A few weekends ago, I traveled to L.A. (Lethbridge, Alberta - no joke people there call it that) My brother, Daniel, who normally goes out of his way not to hang out with me and recently returned from a long journey to Oz and New Zealand (wait a minute,old Zealand anybody?)invited me and he has a car and I wanted to visit my grandparents who live there and it just seemed like the perfect combination. The last time I went there was in June, and it was a big family event: 100 year anniversary of the family farm. It was a bit rushed and also a bit busy but it was still really interesting hearing the story of my great-grandfather who came to Canada from England in 1906 and built a homestead. I never really thought about the story before - I knew that somebody at some point had moved here from Europe and then had kids who had kids and their kids are.. me. But the logistics of all the history details seemed too overwhelming for me.
After this anniversary party I had a somewhat different perspective. So I did some research.

My great-grandfather left Bourn, in Cambridgeshire, north of London apparantly, where is dad owned this very mill. a It's a flour mill and date back to sometime between the 13th century and the 17th century (apparantly there weren't alot of changes made to Mill's between that time so they don't know how old it is). My great great (maybe one more great) was also the owner of "The Fox" which is a public house. I'm pretty sure that means a pub, but I'm just guessing. Or maybe just a place where people hung out to chat about current events.

I contacted the historical society in the area and they will send me information of some sort about the Fox and the Mill and my family.

As you can see, alot has changed since September 2004. I'm no longer a geek!

bye!

Everybody is leaving this city!
At first I was disappointed that everybody is cutting town - but now I'm ready to accept this. People are moving on - following what matters to them - love, adventure, money, a career - all of which I approve of. I'd rather have all my friends dispersed throughout the planet than have them all in one city bored and miserable. They wouldn't be the people I'd want to hang out with. And no, it doesn't mean you're bored and miserable if you stay in Edmonton, but if you're not following whatever is calling you, then you run the risk of becoming.. bored... or miserable. But of course there are no guarantees; you could probably spend your entire life here without any direction or goals and still be completely happy - or you could hop around to various cities following what you think would make you happy - and then be miserable. Like Douglas Copeland said, which I am paraphrasing - like I could remember a direct quote: "I travelled the world looking for the best city out there and then realized that my hometown was the best city going" (Vancouver) Not that Edmonton is the best city going or anything, and not that I'm trying to discourage you all from leaving, but ya know - I have to tell myself something if I'm going to be staying here for awhile.

Well, there's been a serious lack of adventure on this blog, and I walking talking with some friends about how I don't want to write anything on it like "I ate breakfast today".... or "I went to the Black Dog and got wasted"... What an interesting adventure..

Well, yesterday there was an adventure that was actually interesting. It all started on the banks of the North Sasktchewan River, directly south of Spruce Grove. I got together with some old friends/co-workers from Carbonbusters and we decided to head down to the riverbank for sauna action with some hot dog roasting/wine drinking. (the sauna is incredibly cool and I don't mean that in a literal sense) So, 4 girls, 2 cars, some bonterra cab sav, ritter Sport, a portable sauna.. you get the idea.. sounds like a whole lotta fun. And it WAS a whole lot of fun. Had some good chats about things that we could never talk about when we all worked together, ate some tasty food and then hit the sauna - followed by running upstream and jumping in the lake (we were upstream from Edmonton, where the water gets suspect) and riding the current until we got back to the sauna. It was a great way to spend a Monday night - I was thinking to myself that it would be so great to live somewhere near here then I could hang out on the river bank all the time and it would just be a dandy way to grow old - the wilderness had won me over by this point.

After it was getting dark, we decided to head home. We went back to grab one of the girls' cars. She had parked it about 200 m away downstream, near the roadway (she didn't want to drive it onto the beach- so it wouldn't get wet or wrecked.. keep reading btw..). So we walked up to find the car. One girl drove down there before us and ran back to us when we got to the area with a look of terror in her eyes.. "where the hell did you park your car?" "um, right here." I kept walking up the bank, mostly because I have terrible vision when things are more than 2m away and I thought maybe a tree trunk and a shadow were could have been her car. So the car owner looks down into the river, and.. found her car in the river. Now what most people ask at this point is, "is it a standard? It probably just rolled down into the river.." "when cars ROLL down into the river because the e-brake isn't on.. they don't usually flip over (in my experience) This one had definately flipped. The roof was caved in, and the glass was a broken. It was a mess. We all felt for the car owner - she's just a super nice girl and nobody wants to see that happen, especially not to nice people. She ran down to see her traumatized car and got out whatever she could.. We all started shaking and were in complete disbelief. Somebody (or several people- I'm pretty confident it wasn't coyotes) had clearly come and thrown her car down the river bank and into the river. These things don't happen by accident (in my experience) After a while of milling about and thinking about the whole situation.. this car drives down to the river and parks. A man gets out and walks over to us. "Why you ladies fishing in the middle of the night" "well, that's not really the case you see.. and pointed to the car..we're trying to get through to the police.." He tells us his story: "I'm just sleeping down here until I get my next paycheque.. and if you're calling the police, I guess I'll leave cause I don't have any car insurance." Good idea, Mr. Weird man. So we contemplate so more and finally repack the remaining car (the one not in the river) so we all fit in it - and drive up to the closest mainish road. We see a car driving towards us, and then it stops and turns off its lights. It turns its lights back on and then drives a few feet.. It repeats this over and over until it finally skids around and drives off (we think) - WITHOUT ITS LIGHTS ON.. (pitch black - random car driving away, maybe sitting there - without lights on - just after you meet Mr. Weirdman and have your car thrown (not pushed) into the river) By this point, I was worried. Luckily I was with seasoned adventurers and they were not as worried as I. We followed the car with the flashing lights.. it was gone - So we sat and told stories of crazy incidents in the past where we all though we were gonna die and then it ended up being nothing more than a good story.
Eventually, Constable Bliss from the good old RCMP came out after what seemed like several hours but could have been anywhere from 10 minutes - 2 hours. (Constable Bliss - great name hey, - nothing better than waiting for Bliss) He made us tell the story and shone his flashlight around - "Where exactly was in parked? Was it a standard?", he asked, in his very professional voice. "It was parked parallel to the river - and was not hanging off the edge of the bank - trust me" He told us he'd get a report ready and then said we should all get to bed. I think we all agreed with his crime scene report - one ruined car that we couldn't salvage or even get out of the river for that matter - and 4 tired shaking girls who had just had a great sauna experience that will be best off safe and away from random creepy people who drive around flashing lights..
We drove to one of the girls house who lived in Spruce Grove - made some tea and the car owner called AMA for some roadside assistance. "Sorry, we can't help" they told her "You car isn't on the roadside" (they were serious by the way) Then she called her insurance and they asked where she was: "In Spruce Grove." "And wheren't your car?" "In the river" It seemed quite hilarious at 3am - maybe most things do. I called my boss and left a voice mail for her at work.. "hello.. it's amy ... it's 3am.. (at this point I regretted calling but couldn't turn back) "My friends car is in the river, I will be late tomorrow morning"
We had a good laugh and then fell asleep scattered throughout the house. I still feel bad about her car - and the stress it will be to get it all sorted out with insurance companies and AMA and the police - I still had a great time before the incident, and am that much more closer to those ladies now. All in all, it was an adventure - and what more could a young adventurous wannabee want?

packwoman

Pacman
Originally uploaded by maladiets.

I'm in the process of moving! As you all know, it's no fun whatsoever. It's hard on your mind (where does this go? will it fit in this box?) , your body (ouch, heavy) and it's also a very emotional process (looking back at all the good times (and bad) you had in your cute little apartment, and going through everything you own and thinking about how all these things are meant to define a person's true self) All in all, a stressful process. Plus we've made a no buying groceries till the new place pledge, which means I'll just probably eat chocolate for supper. I still have Easter chocolate left. Why is this you ask? Well, during Easter, I was doing a 12 day herbal detox extravaganza, meaning I couldn't eat certain foods.. or food groups I should say (like grains, tropical fruit, the peanut-group, dairy, and the sugar-group (not even honey) SO- now that that's over (I didn't cheat once, except for the gin I drank on the first day. I learned that tonic water is as sugar-filled as pop. Who knew something so grose could be filled with glucose-frucose-comatose. NOT I!

Well, I guess I should get back to this whole packing ordeal..

wish me luck

If I controlled the world--what do you think Ryan?

If I controlled the world
Originally uploaded by maladiets.

nonsense update

Okay so it's been a month since I updated this thing. I was just waiting for everybody to tell me what kind of tree they are and tell me if that whole tree-birthday thing is just ridiculous nonsense or not. So far, all evidence points to it being TRUE, so I'll go with that. It says I have extraordinary taste, what more evidence do I need?

It's the last day of March today, and I don't mean march of the penguins kind of march, but the other kind, like a month that comes before April. Now that I brought up march of the penguins, I recommend it. It's cute and sad and very scientific. What more is there really?

So like I was saying before about March.. it's over soon. Which means it's almost summer. And the sunshine is very welcome in my life at any given moment in time. So this is very good news.

In other good news, I will be moving to an apartment building right by a the General Hospital, and this is very exciting. So, if I get any general injuries or general symptoms, so need to think of the name of a good soap opera, I can just glance out my window, or walk across the street.

No more "avenue of nation" for me. Not in the near future anyways. Granted I'll miss the crazy people and their crazy activities, but I can always come back to visit I suppose.

In the meantime, I need to find myself a job that will challenge me.. and that doesn't give me discounts on anything and everything that will get me drunk.
Shouldn't be toooo hard to do.

>> > >
>> > > Find your birthday and then find your tree. Not sure who thought this up, but it's entertaining nonetheless.. I'm a Fir tree..

so I'm Mysterious -- extraordinary taste (obviously) , handles stress well (by crying?), loves anything beautiful, stubborn , tends to care for those
close to them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes
idleness and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather
modest, talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.

what are you??????

>> > > Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
>> > > Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
>> > > Jan 25 to Feb 03 - CypressTree
>> > > Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
>> > > Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
>> > > Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
>> > > Mar 01 to Mar 10 - WeepingWillowTree
>> > > Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
>> > > Mar 21 (only) - Oak Tree
>> > > Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
>> > > Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
>> > > Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
>> > > Apr 21 to Apr 30 - Walnut Tree
>> > > May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
>> > > May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
>> > > May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
>> > > Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
>> > > Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
>> > > Jun 24 (only) - Birch
>>Tree
>> > > Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
>> > > Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
>> > > Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree
>> > > Jul 26 to Aug 04 - CypressTree
>> > > Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
>> > > Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
>> > > Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
>> > > Sep 03 to Sep 12 - WeepingWillowTree
>> > > Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
>> ; > > Sep 23 (only) - Olive Tree
>> > > Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
>> > > Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
>> > > Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
>> > > Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
>> > > Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
>> > > Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
>> > > Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
>> > > Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
>> > > Dec 22 (only) - Beech Tree
>> > > Dec 23 to Jan 01 - Apple Tree
>> > >
>> > > TREES
>>(in alphabetical order)
>> > >
>> > > Apple Tree(Love) -- quiet and shy at times, lots of charm,
>>appeal,
>> > > and attraction, pleasant attitude, flirtatious smile,
>>adventurous,
>> > > sensiti ve, loyal in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful
>>and
>> > > tender partner, very generous, many talents, loves children,
>>needs
>> > > affectionate partner.
>> > >
>> > > Ash Tree (Ambition) -- extremely attractive, vivacious,
>>impulsive,
>> > > demanding, does not care for c! riticism, ambitious,
>>intelligent,
>> > > talented, likes to play with fate, can be very egotistic,
>>reliable,
>> > > restless lover, sometimes money rules over the heart, demands
>> > > attention, needs love and much emotional support.
>> > >
>> > > Beech Tree (Creative) -- has good taste, concerned about its
>>looks,
>> > >
>>materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical,
>> > > good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid
>> > > lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.).
>> > >
>> > > Birch Tree (Inspiration) -- vivacious, attractive,
>>elegant,friendly,
>> > > unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess,
>>abhors the
>> > > vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate,
>>full
>> > > of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content
>> > > atmosphere.
>> > >
>> > > Cedar Tree (Confidence) -- of rare strength, knows how to
>>adapt,
>> > > likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least
>>shy,
>> > > tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker,
>> > > determin! ed, often impatient, likes to impress others, has
>>many
>> > > talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true
>>love,
>> > > able to make quick decisions.
>> > >
>> > > Chestnut Tree (Honesty) -- of unusual stature, impressive,
>>well-
>> > > developed sense of justice, fun to be around, a planner, born
>> > > diplomat, can be irritated easily, sensitive of others
>>feelings,
>> > > hard worker, sometimes acts superior, feels not understood at
>>times,
>> > > fiercely family oriented, very loyal in love, physically fit.
>> > >
>> > > Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) -- strong, muscular, adaptable,
> >takes
>> > > what life has to give but doesn't necessarily like it, strives
>>to be
>> > > content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent,
>>wants love
>> > > and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot
>>be
>> > > satisfied, faithful,
>>quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and
>> > > careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.
>> > >
>> > > Elm Tree (Noble-mindedness) -- pleasant shape, tasteful
>>clothes,
>> > > modest demands, t! ends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful,
>>likes to
>> > > lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes
>>making
>> > > decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of
> ;>humor,
>> > > practical.
>> > >
>> > > Fig Tree (Sensibility) -- very strong minded, a bit
>>self-willed,
>> > > honest, loyal, dependent, hates contradiction or arguments,
>>hard
>> > > worker when wants to be, loves life and friends, enjoys
>>children and
>> > > animals, great sense of humor, has artistic talent and great
>> > > intelligence..
>> > >
>> > > Fir tree (Mysterious) -- extraordinary taste, handles
>>stress well,
>> > > loves anything beautiful, stubborn, tends to care for those
>>close to
>> > > them, hard to trust others, yet a social butterfly, likes
>>idleness
>> > > and laziness after long demanding hours at work, rather
& gt;>modest,
>> > > talented, unselfish, many friends, very reliable.
>> > >
>> > > Hazelnut Tree(Extraordinary) -- charming, sense of humor, very
>> > > demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to
>>make a
>> > > lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and
>>politics,
>> > > popular, quite moody, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise
>>sense
>> > > of judgment and expects complete fairness.
>> > >
>> > > Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste) -- of cool beauty, cares for its
>>looks
>> > > and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as
>> > > comfortable as possible,
>>leads a reasonable and disciplined life,
>> > > l ooks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner,
>> > > dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings,
>> > > mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very
>> > > conscientious.
>> > >
>> > > Lime Tree (Doubt) - intelligent, hard working, accepts what
>>life
>> > > dishes out, but not before trying to change bad circumstances
>>into
>> > > good ones, hates fighting and stress, enjoys getaway
>>vacations, may
>> > > appear tough, but is actually soft and relenting, always
>>willing to
>> > > make sacrifices for family and friends, has many talents but
>>not
>> > > always enough time to use them, great leadership qualities, is
> ;> > > jealous at times but extremely loyal.
>> > >
>> > > Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) -- no
>>ordinary person, full of
>> > > imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious,
>>proud,
>> > > self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes
>>nervous, has
>> > > many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated
>>love life,
>> > > wants to impress.
>> > >
>> > > Oak Tree (Brave) -- robust nature, courageous, strong,
>>unrelenting,
>> > > independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on
>>the
>> > > ground, person of action.
>> > >
>> > > Olive Tree (Wisdom) -- loves sun, warmth and kind feelings,
>> > > reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence,
>>tolerant,
>> > > cheerful, calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive,
>> > > empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of
>> > > sophisticated people.
>> > >
Pine Tree
(Peacemaker) -- loves agreeable company, craves peace and
harmony, loves to help others, active imagination, likes to
write poetry, not fashion conscious, great compassion, friendly to
all, falls strongly in love but will leave if betrayed or lied to,
emotionally soft, low self esteem, needs affection and
reassurance.

>> > > Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) -- looks very decorative, talented,
not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs
goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely,
great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to
lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes
partnership
seriously.
Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) -- full of charm, cheerful, gifted without

egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and
even complications, is both dependent and independent, good
taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not
forgive.

Walnut Tree (Passion) -- unrelenting, strange and full of
contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected
reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility,
difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often
admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no
compromise.

>> > > Weeping Willow (Melancholy) - likes to be stress free, loves
family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic,
loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to
exotic places, restless, capricious, hon est, can be influenced but is not
easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good
intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal,
>>steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh