Monday, July 25, 2005

LIES! LIES! (coming to edmonton Oct. 4) (THI) trust in humanity index

I had a nice weekend. Friday night, I went out to Jenn's cabin, along with some other crazy kids. BOoze and Balderdash.. the 2 B's of fun, let me tell ya. My favourite was Jenn's definition of the word stallko:

"stallko, as in Elvis Stallko, world figure skating champion, sorry about my speech impediment."

I'm very intruiged/frightened/entertained by a movie that's coming out called "the devil's rejects." I have no idea what it's about, but I want to see it just cause I'm curious. What could you possibly do that would earn you a the rejection stamp from the devil? You'd think that as the severity of your cruel deeds increases, so would the devil's admiration of you.
Rob Zombie will have to teach me a thing or two. The music mastermind already taught me about digging through ditches, and burn through witches. did he change his last name to zombie or is that just one of those weird coincidences that adds texture and meaning to our lives?

in other boring news,
some jerk stole my bike last week, my Trust in humanity index is declining steadily.

i went to the tortoise concert yesterday, and it was loud and entertaining. the music's not really my "sound" but the band was entertaining to watch. I've never seen a drummer sweat so much. drugs? enthusiiam? lack of oxygen of stage? not sure, but he was into it.

I hung out with my dad a bit this weekend which I enjoyed. He took me for breakfast, and I wasn't even hung over so I could have a conversation with him!

I discovered somthing very fun at Jenn's cabin -- swimming in a lake in the dark when it's raining. along with seadoing in the dark in a lake when it's raining. except the rain hurts your face. I guess that's the price you have to pay..

and one last thing!!!- Broken Social Scene---CHECK THIS OUT IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.. or something..

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Ryan, aka intergalactic tracksuitman

one of the dudes passing by. does anybody know where I could get a tracksuit like that? he says it even makes him run faster!

änna and aimers at motion notion


Poor Little Rich Boy

So, it's wednesday, that day in the middle of the week.. you all know what I'm talking about. We just had a staff meeting, so my fun-quota has been reached for this week.. possibly month..

I am a pretty happy camper (although i'm not camping) today because I received an awesome package in the mail with a shirt that says: "In Soviet Russia, shirt wears you" which i think is very appropriate for a shirt. It came from this really cool girl named Tessa ( I think) But I'm a bit confused about how the package came from Toronto and she lives in Vancouver. How'd she do that?

On the topic of the Soviet Russia, this guy I know named Fox recommended Regina Spektor's album Soviet Kitsch, and it is pretty good. I've been listening to it today. Along with Roisin Murphy, who is the singer from Moloko. And how does this relate to the Soviet Union? Well, Moloko is the Russian word for milk. And I bought the Moloko album while I was in Russia.. see how this is all connected?

Now let's jump past Soviet Russia and onto modern Russia. Apparantly (so I hear) all boys there have to go to the army for 2 years! like 720 days! The only way to get out is if you pay a doctor to get a note (it's a pretty expensive note) or somebody else that knows somebody else who can scratch your name off the list or you go to a University that offers military courses.. which somehow replace military duty.. or if you don't have a penis.. you're automatically disqualified.

Sorry to state the obvious here, but this is not fair. If you don't have money, you are under-fed, under-sexed, under-payed and physically abused for 2 years. And by the time you're out, you can't get into school cause you're too old, and you need to recover from the 2 years of physical emotional and alcohol abuse. Women don't have to do this, cause they gotta make babies who will grow up and join the army ... see how this is all connected? me neither.

and.. to leave this post on a happy note.. I will put up a picture.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

all it takes is the flaxmachine...


all it takes is the flaxmachine...
Originally uploaded by AKey.
Thank you to the wacky folks at motion notion, and of course the flaxmachine for letting me have as much fun as I did.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Real time vs. Night time

A few weeks ago, I was looking at the free postcards/advertisements that are available at a local pub while I was sipping my beer. And some dude approached me and said.. "that postcard you're looking at? I was involved in the photo shoot," and I was like (sarcastically) "oh wow cool" and my drinking partner was like "we should send you one of these postcards" and then he wrote his adress on it.. and I wrote a little beer influenced scribble and put a stamp on it.

Then his friend came over, and I thought it was only fair if he got one too. So, another scribble on that one. Throw a stamp on it. Pretty simple. Innocent fun.. the kind I like best.

Then the next week, same place, same time, they were like "we got out postcards in the mail, thanks so much, we thought you were joking! It's so strange that people do something in "real time" that they say they're going to do in "drinking time" "who does that?" They introduced me to one of their friends as "the nice girl who sent them postcards", and after talking to this friend for awhile, after the 2 dudes left, he leans over and say: "do I get a postcard?" How could I say no? So he got a postcard too.

Basically, I just really like postcards. It's like a picture, and a letter combined into one. I have a bit of a collection of postcards.. I didn't think there could be any negative consequences as a result of my postcard writing.

Then last night, i met the 2 original postcard receivers.. and they started warning people about me. They had talked to their friend, and found out that I send him a postcard too. (he told the story as if I was just dying to send him a postard..) Here they thought they were special, then they came to the conclusion that I'd send out these postcards to everybody and their dog. (if dogs could read, i would send them postards too but that's besides the point)

So, now for the sad part.. I have been dubbed the post-card slut...

You try to be honest and do something nice, and before you can say (or spell) missasauga, you're a postcard slut.

what a world..

sincerely,
amy, the postcard slut

PS If you want a postcard, just give me your address (preferably whisper it in my ear or write it on a used coaster) (with postal code) and I'll do what I do best..

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM THE TRUTH CAUSE THE TRUTH IS ALL THERE IS

HMMMMM MMMM mmmmm
wanna know what's a bad idea? eating a chocolate bar for lunch. Learn from my experience of today. Don't do it..
I'm a bit jittery.. and sick. bad combination.

yesterday i went for a bikeride in the rain with my good pal Cyborg the hydrobeast. Oh wait, that's a lie Cyborg didn't make it out... let me try again. Yesterday I went for a bikeride with Jenn. It started raining, which made it seem like we were riding through a sprinkler. it was so surreal.. and stuff..

Then, the most amazing thing happened. I've finally found the yoghurt of my dreams. I was considering immigrating to Germany because they have the best yoghurt ever. We don't have anything close.. or so I thought.. until it spoke to me in all it's glory from the yoghurt fridge... it's pear flavored.. and each bite tastes like western european subsidized dairy farmer creamy goodness..(even though it probably isn't) so looks like immigration plans are on the back burner. ja ja vielleicht später, aber wenn Anna hier bleibt, was soll ich dann in Deutschland tun?

What happened before that? I had an nice weekend I think. I got a great sunburn, hung out with some "good people" (whatever that means..) some R-blading and I tried S-boarding and fell off the skateboard and it's a good thing i didn't try rollerblading and skateboarding at the same time. I heard it's hard. Maybe even impossible, i'll get back to you on that.

Some "good people" gave me a questionable tattoo on my leg (don't worry grandpa, it was on a felt pen tattoo) .. i call it: Giant stick man and his Funky Monkey meets.. Pakman....? by the way, Funky Monkey is the best show in the universe! (i think I would know..)

so now it's time to .. "work" WHAT? mm. i better keep writing. crap.. i need something to write about.. hmmm..

oh yeah, this relates to 2 prior topics i dont' even need a seguay! .. Yoghurt and Sunburns. 2 very clever women informed me that yoghurt is one of the best moisturizrs..and you should put it on sunburns.. so i did just that. I wandered around my apartment in a partial bathing suit .. covered in plain 3.5% fat yoghurt. It was awesome. This is why living alone has serious perks (although cool roomies probably wouldn't have minded my weird behaviour) I could hear my neighbors whispering.. "did you see the tenant covering herself in yoghurt? oh yeah, you mean the who stacks up lawn chairs and tries to climbs through he window at 3am? fersure.. yeah, with a she's got a pornographic pakman tattoo, yeah we should... keep her away from our babies?!.."

I THINK I WANT TO WAK WAK . Wak wak means throw up in Nepali, in case anybody was wondering how to say throw up in Nepali. and by throw up, I mean vomit, not like throw a ball up into the sky..

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

the day between sunday and tuesday

well i feel i should tell a story about that day in the past.. some call it the day between sunday and tuesday, but i just call it monday, it's much easier.
so i was riding my bike to work. it's a new thing for me. (take the commuter's challenge!! WHOO) and.. well. half way there, there's this giant piece of glass that conveniently wedged itself into my tire and I hear this sound.. like a deflating tire.. and then i realize that my tire is flat. I tried to ignore this small obstacle and keep going, but people passing in cars pointed at me and laughed..
and then pedestrians are like "you're tire is a little low!" and I was like "a little low? there's absolutely no air in it! don't talk to me anymore unless you have something helpful to contribute." I took the glass out and kept it. Maybe I'll make it into a necklace.

Then I went to work and that 8 hrs. was a bit of a blur. I'm sure lots of exciting things happened, i just can't remember.

Then I took the bus home (my bike is out of order as of that morning) to find Tessa who made corn on the cob, which is the best summer meal ever! and we ate outside on the balcony and watched weirdo's. Then we strolled across the bridge to have an enjoyable evening at the Black Dog, where I bumped into a girl from high school i hadn't seen forever.. who has a recent tattoo across her chest that says "be true to yourself" or something along those lines. This is a tattoo i approve us. totally original, totally meaningful, and in an uncommon spot. Then I saw Peter, who a few days ago I was thinking about.. something like.. "I wonder if Peter died.. he should be back from Sweden by now." and sure enough, he's alive and well, so no need to keep worrying about that.

And then, we returned home .. to realize that neither of us had a key to get in. My roomate moved out 3 days ago, and not once while he was sleeping inside had I forgot a key. But once he left! Time to lock the keys inside. So Tessa did some constructive panicking, I did some unconsructive laughing.. we tried to wake up several people who could have helped.. to no avail. I tried to climb in the window.. but I'm too short.. if I were spiderman, I wouldn't have had any trouble. Eventually, we woke up the building manager and he came with a ladder.. and I climed up and jumped in headfirst.. it was kinda fun. Except the bruises. Luckily there was a bed there to soften the landing. We made it inside. Alive and well. All's well that end's well, right?

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

I had a great visit with Tessa, and I love the Schwarze Hund, perro negro, chien noir, chiorny piez, etc.

it seems somebody has some intereting perspectives (sarcasm font) on the whole living forever thing that I mentioned before.. the one the nice Jehova's Witness brought up..

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: “ I would not live forever! , because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever”.
Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

Ah, it gets better.. let's play a game called "name what's wrong with our society" I'll start.. with the help of some famous people..

“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”
Lee Iaccocca

“We don’t necessarily discriminate. WE simply exclude certain types of people.”
Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”
Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.
(wow, that was profound, I think I'll quit smoking now (sarcasm font))

"So yeah.. do not attribute to malice what can merely be explained by stupidity". Sometimes I wish there were more smart malicious people around.